Chiba Family Robinson By Antigone and Moon Klutz. Rat: g/pg Part: One AN: This is an Usa-Mamo romance, but at the same time, kind of a joke. First off, there are a few things you might want to know, like what a DRUF and a DDMF are. A DRUF is a Deranged Rabid Usagi Fan. Basically, someone like Antigone, who would defend Usagi to the death! Antigone: They are an excitable bunch, co-ed, . We worship rabbits, the moon, ice-cream crystals and sacrifice manga, chocolate sundaes and um... pink stuff. A DDMF is some one like Moon Klutz, a Drooling Deranged Mamoru Fan. ^^ In this story, the tribe name is changed to Ddmuf, so it's easier to pronounce. ^^ Moon Klutz: Mamo-chan above all else! Actually, we're also co-ed, though it's hard not to find a gay DDMF around here… For the purpose of our story though, the male DDMF's will be DDMF's because they admire all of Mamo-chans good qualities! In this fic, there is an island somewhere in the middle of nowhere, where the DRUF's and the DDMF's live. You'll get the idea from here on, trust me. ^^ For easier-to-pronounce-in-your-head reasons, the DDMF will be called Ddmuf in this fic… Drooling Deranged MamorU Fans. When one is has a near-death experience, it is said their whole world changes. It is said that the experience can change them, mold them, effect forever. It is said that the first thought in their mind will be one of insight, wisdom and inner peace. 'Ugh. I have sand in my mouth...' They were wrong. With a hand to his head, Mamoru stood up slowly, feeling as if he had just woken up after that horrible New Years 1995. The beach was long, stretched far, the water a clear, deep blue. Birds sang. 'Oh ok, Chiba, don't panic. You are FINE. You are ALIVE. You REMEMBER your name. All good things...' Suddenly, he gasped as the memories of the boat flooded back into his mind. "Oh my god! Usagi!!" Panic welled up in his chest, acid filling his mouth. Had he blacked out? How could he fail to protect her? The small, beautiful girl...is she...is she... Without realizing where he was going, he ran, twisting and turning around driftwood and rocky coves and shores. He let his feet and intuition carry him, not questioning it. And there she was. "Usako..." without hesitating, he pulled the limp body into his arms, almost afraid to check for a pulse... but there! Weak, but there. 'Ok. Medical training. Check for breathing. And stay calm,' OHMYGODSHE'SNOTBREATING!! 'Ok. Ok, then breathe *for* her.' It was the least he could do, after failing her. Clamping her nose he sealed his lips to hers, emptying his lungs into hers. Again. Again. Dizziness threatened to overwhelm him... "Mamoru-baka?" A weak voice. "Usagi!! You are ok!" She coughed a little, reaching her arms out to him like a child who wanted to be held. For a long time she cried into his arms. Then she looked at him for a moment. "Mamoru-baka? Arigato for saving my life." "You're welcome." "Are we.... stranded?" Mamoru looked around at something besides the girl for the first time. Slowly, he took in the scenery. They were kneeling on a small strip of sand next to a now clear and calm ocean. There was a thick jungle behind them, some rocks, and miscellaneous plant life, a few bugs… Nothing really out of the ordinary. For a deserted island that is. He looked back down at her. "Of course not Usagi, I mean, there's got to be people or a town or something around here, and when we find it, we'll just call the coast guard, get a boat and continue on our way!" he said, forcing a smile. He was lying straight through his teeth. The chances were, there would be no town. There would be no phones, no coast guard. For now though, he would keep a strong, positive front for her. He had to keep her from panicking, she still needed to regain her strength. Usagi smiled ironically. "You're lying, aren't you Mamoru-baka?" she asked calmly. Mamoru was surprised. "O-Of course not Usagi-chan!" Usagi shook her head lightly. "It doesn't matter. I've been through worse, we'll be fine." She said simply. Mamoru gaped at her while she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. The previous moments had been tiring, strenuous. 'How can she be so calm, while I'm freaking out?!' Mamoru wondered. 'Isn't she supposed to be the flighty emotional one, and aren't I supposed to be calm and logical? Hell of a time for a role-reversal!' Mentally, he cursed whatever spirits or kami had done this too him at a time like this. Usagi rolled her head over so it rested on his arm and Mamoru re-thought the last moment. 'On second thought, this isn't so bad…' "This could be worse..." Mamoru wanted to kick himself the second those words were out of his mouth. Usagi bristled. 'Doesn't he know those words are a jinx... ' and the thought of uncomfortable supernatural things such as jinxes made her reach up to her neck to feel for her brooch... "OH MY GOD!!!" Usagi stood up suddenly, tears filling her eyes, panic raising in her chest. "My ...my brooch..." She glanced around the beach rather pathetically. "Is it *that* important Odango Atama?" Mamoru thought teasing her a little might get her mind off her state of despair. But she didn't even notice the jib. And THAT worried Mamoru more then anything. Usagi was wading out a few feet, scanning the horizon as if she crazily thought she could see the entire bottom of the huge expensive Pacific Ocean. "Yes..." she kept murmuring, "very important, so important... oh my..." 'I'm helpless. Utterly helpless... Luna will kill me... If I ever see Luna again...so alone... helpless...' She jumped as Mamoru spoke from so close behind her. He almost put his hands on her shoulders, but hesitated and finally dropped them to his side. "Usagi-chan....gomen... but, there isn't anything you can do. It's gone," despite his words he was sympathetic. He didn't question the importance of a material object when lives were at stake. Perhaps it was a family heirloom of some sort. Mamoru knew all too well the sentimental value those sorts of objects could have... Usagi nodded, vacantly, staring straight ahead blindly, silent tears still trickling down her pale face. But she didn't talk for a while after that. 'I can't ever be Sailormoon again....' An object glinted. And glinted again. Pausing in curiosity, a young woman in purple robes bent to pick it up. She breathed in amazement as the pink and gold orb reflected in her eyes. Turning over her shoulder she shouted to her two companions. They both ran toward her, jaws dropping as they gazed at the rare treasure. The young man reached to touch it but the girls slapped him away. The first one shook her head slowly. She said something in a strange and beautiful language. The others responded with exciting chatter, inflections of doubt, wonder and finally jubilance in their voice. Then all three of them ran off into the forest, carrying Usagi's transformation brooch with them. Arat and Nayr ran towards their leaders' hut, Arat with the item clutched fiercely in her hand. This could mean the legends were finally true! They stopped to catch their breath in front of the leaders hut. The village was small, but powerful. Their huts were made of only the strongest cane, and their roofs had clay bottoms to keep Selene's Tears out of their houses. There were two guards in front of the largest hut of all, and she and Nayr kneeled. "We come to give the elder great news! Selene is coming!" Arat declared, showing them a glimpse of the item. The guards' eyes widened and they pulled aside the cloth covering the entrance so that Arat and Nayr might enter. Nayr paused though. "Something wrong?" Arat asked him. He smiled and shook his head. "I was just thinking… Let's go in." he said, and they entered. Inside, Antigone, the leader of the Druf tribe, sat on a slightly raised dais with her advisor, Ardnassac, to her left, holding a staff. "Antigone, we have good news! Usagi is coming!" Arat sad excitedly, holding out the broach. Antigone smiled widely, then frowned. "Shimatta! They're still in the first season! Klutz and her Ddmufs are going to have a field day with this if Mamoru is with her…" she whined. "Oh well." Smiling, Antigone took the broach from Arat. "You and Nayr found it?" she asked. Nayr and Arat nodded. "Just outside the woods, washed up on shore Antigone-san!" Nayr explained. Ardnassac whispered something to Antigone and she nodded wisely. "That's a good point Ardnassac. Arat, Nayr, I have a special mission for you…" After the two teenagers left, still wide-eyed and excited about their project, Antigone collapsed onto her dais. Holding her head in her hands she said, "I hope he isn't..." Ardnassac shook her head gracefully. "Hai, Antigone-sama, but he is. You know it and I know it. She wouldn't come without him." Antigone nodded. "At any rate, those two will find out if She is alone, and bring her to us..." Antigone shut her eyes for a moment, imagining finally meeting Tsukino Usagi. "But if she isn't alone? If they have found each other?" "Nayr and Arat know what to do...." "Finally, Antigone-sama," Ardnassac's excitement finally found a way through her composed and graceful demeanor. "The Goddess! Here!" Antigone held a small hand up to her aching head. "Hai, Ardnassac. But ... *first* season." Meanwhile, just outside a crack in the wall… "Igasu! Come on, tell me what they're saying!" Eltrut whined, tugging on Igasu's skirt. Igasu waved Eltrut quiet for a moment then pulled back, grinning. "Come on!" she whispered, and ran dragging Eltrut behind her into the woods where no one would spot them. Grinning she told Eltrut what she had heard in three words. "Mamo-chan is HERE!" Eltrut gasped, grinning like mad. "You aren't kidding! After all these years…" "And Usagi-chan is with him!" Igasu continued. "However, Antigone is going to bring Usagi-chan to the Druf territory, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she asked. Eltrut paused, thinking carefully while pulling a cookie out of her bag. "If we capture Mamo-chan…" "And bring him back to Klutz…" "We'll get clones!" they both exclaimed, and took off. "Mamoru-baka?" The young man didn't answer his companion's call. He still stalked through the thick vegetation, a deep scowl on his face. "Maa-aamoru-baka?" "What is it, Odango atama?" "I could have *sworn* I saw that rock before." He turned around, irritated. "Rocks look alike, Usagi-chan. We're fine. We are NOT going in circles." "But I saw that tree before t--" "What do you want me to do? Stop and ask for directions? Use the handy little map I have *right here* that tells about this island? Call someone on one of *all* these pay-phones out here?" Usagi glared at him, "Not like you'd ask for directions anyway..." She got the Look. "Well, you ARE a man, aren't you?" He crossed his arms, a miffed look on his face. 'I'm not if I can't get us out of here... and keep you safe...and find...something....' he thought. Instead, he just shook his head and turned to keep going. Hurrying to keep up in the thick brush the only that could happen, did: Usagi tripped. "Itai!!" she cried, nursing her bloody knee. For a moment she thought she heard a voice in the bushes, murmuring deep concern for her... but it was gone in a second. And all she could see was Mamoru's hand extended toward her. And the look on his face... she smiled a little and reached for his hand… "Oh, don't do *that*..." "Shhhh!! Baka be quiet!" Ok, she definitely heard something. But...it was easier to think that she was hallucinating than thinking there were other beings on this island. So Usagi decided to let it go. They pressed on. Igasu and Eltrut crouched in the bushes across from Arat and Nayr. Usagi and Mamoru were between them, walking again after that little incident with the knee… Igasu smiled. "Eltrut! Do you have that dry-icy stuff that Ima gave us?" she asked. Eltrut reached into her pouch and pulled it out. "Ready for kidnapping, Igasu!" she exclaimed. Igasu smiled, and pointed evilly at the couple wandering through the jungle. "Then release the icy-stuff!" she said in an evil voice. Eltrut looked confused. "Huh?" Igasu face faulted. "Never mind Eltrut, just do it, will you?" she sighed. Eltrut grinned. "Aye'aye Igasu!" And with that she began throwing the chunks of 'cold icy stuff' all along the side of the path, and within no time, they were surrounded by a thick fog. Usagi couldn't remember when she had grabbed onto Mamoru's arm, but she had a feeling it had been sometime around when the fog had started rolling in. They couldn't see anymore, and she was cold. Usagi clutched a little tighter at his arm. "Mamoru-baka, why is it so foggy?" she whispered. Mamoru looked down at her, or at least, she thought he did. It was hard to tell. "I'm not sure Odango, I don't think it's very plausible for it to get this foggy naturally in these conditions at that rate…." He started. Usagi sighed. "Please Mamoru-baka, I just got out of school." She sighed. "W-" before he could answer she screamed. "Nani?! Nani, Usagi-chan? Usa?!" No answer. 'Oh no...Not again...' But he felt a hand on his arm. Startled, he jumped, but couldn't see very well in the fog. There was something there. A female, small, but not Usagi. "Don't worry, Mamo-c-- er... Mamoru-sama. She's ok. Really." *Violent* facefault. "Who the heck are you? How do you know my name? *Where's Usagi*?" "I'm right...ugh...here..." Usagi put her hand to her head where someone had thrown a... a coconut?! Another, taller, female figure bowed quickly to her. "With all due respect, little Miss Moon-girl, we be taking him now. Okies?" Before either of them could protest, two other figures emerged from the fog. "You will address the great Usagi-sama with respect, Ddmuf saps!" "Yeah! Someone as... *beautiful* as Usagi-sama... OUCH, Arat, that hurt... needs to be treated with utmost respect." Usagi's arm was gently taken by the two figures next to her. The carbon dioxide was starting to make Mamoru dizzy, debate floated around him "We don't want her, we just want Mamo-chan!!" "Yeah, he's so cuddly!" "Hey, Igasu, that's *me*" "Oops..." "Usagi comes with us..." Mamoru shook his head, weakly, Usagi was already passed out. 'No...no...Usa...ko...' but then the girl hugging him cut off the rest of his oxygen and he passed out cold.