Hi everyone, you may have read the story, Aren't I Good Enough, by Trixi or otrixi15, this is the same person. I re-read the story, Aren't I good enough, again and I thought it was horrible. I was annoyed that I even wrote it at all. There were so many things that I wanted to do with this story that I didn't in the first version. So here is a very different version with a few parts that are the same, about a third down the story becomes completely different Sailor moon does not belong to me. The lyrics from the song, Don't stand so close to me, don't belong to me they belong to The Police. You should play that song while you read, but only play the 86' version. And everyone if you get a chance please listen to The Polices' The Classics, they are awesome!!! -Cristina- ------------------------------------- Don't stand So Close To Me by Cristina As Serena sleepily awoke that Saturday morning the first thing that popped into her mind was as always: Darien. She really did try to ignore it but most of the time the harder she tried not to think of him the more she ended up doing so. She was beginning to think she should just lose the battle and fully admit how deep her feelings went for him. One problem though, Serena could be pretty stubborn at times. 'Darien' her mind screamed. She smiled, well actually giggled. she honestly didn't know why she liked him but she did. She couldn't deny that tight feeling she got in her stomach every time he was around. He made her feel like, well just jumping around like a mad woman. He pushed all her buttons and she liked it. Darien looked like a lost soul she wanted to save, so mysterious. He was one the most beautiful people she'd ever met. Just thinking about his coal black hair and dark blue eyes and his smoky voice sent shivers up Serena's spine. 'I just want to connect with him. I want to know him. I know this isn't a stupid crush. I know this is something real. One of my friends once told me that you know, when someone amazes you in every way, that if he isn't the one well, he's pretty damn close,' Serena thought sitting on the edge of her bed. 'But who am I kidding it doesn't matter if he is the one, get real girl, I'm just a klutzy, whiny teenager to him, as he so kindly puts it. He probably has beautiful women hanging all over him'. She could tell though that he wasn't a shallow person, which made her feel only worse 'Great, he probably has the most perfect women, kind, smart and beautiful, everything I'm not.' 'Oh just shut up in there won't you! I have good qualities. I 'm not going to let him give me some sort of complex or tear apart my self esteem,' Serena thought determined. 'I don't like him, I barely know him. Enough with the silliness about Darien, girl, you know he's Satan.' And the internal battle within her mind continued. 'Yeah right keep telling yourself that' her mind replied. "Ughhhh!!!" she moaned out loud Still she thought about him and she even smiled at the thought of bumping into him, at least she could see him, even if they were fighting. After Serena got ready and had her extensive lunch she called up her friends and made plans to meet them at the park to spend the afternoon with them. ------------------------------------- 'Finally out of this house' thought Serena happily as she made her way to the park. She was so busy thinking about her plans that she didn't notice one of the tiles on the sidewalk was slightly higher than the others. And a second later she was on her butt. Serena heard men whistling at her but she was to disoriented to realize that her already short skirt was all the way up her thighs exposing every inch of her long youthful legs. Then she felt some one bump into her from behind and she heard that familiar smoky voice: "What is this Meatball head, the millionth time you've tripped," Darien said with laughter in his voice as he came around to stand in front of her. "Oh shut up Satan, we all can't be as smooth and sophisticated as you," said Serena sarcastically still on the ground. "Big words Meatball..." then he stopped in mid-sentence as he heard a bunch of boys whistle and leer at the sight Serena made. Darien looked down at her legs blushed then scowled. Serena noticed that Darien was making a funny face and that his dark blue eyes had gone almost black, then she followed where his eyes where staring and she blushed also. 'Just great' she thought 'he gets a perfect view of my scrawny legs and my stupid 'Saturday' underwear.' Could this day have started worse? What is the deal!? Am I destined to make fool of myself in front of him practically every day. "Get up Meatball Head, you're blocking the sidewalk," Darien said in a gruff almost angry voice, which Serena took as disgust for having to bump into to her "No Satan, It's my dream for every one to stare sitting here on my butt," retorted Serena angrily as she got up. "Have a nice day Meatball head and don't eat to much concrete," Darien said in a voice that sounded almost relieved as he walked away. "Yeah same to you, Satan," Serena muttered angrily and got up off the sidewalk 'Why are my feelings always so hot and cold towards him, and why does he have to be so incredibly magnetic? There are so many awesome guys out there that are nice and kind, yet I'm attracted to aloof, dark, distant, Darien. I even feel happy now that I've talked to him, I'm insane!!!' thought Serena as she made her way to the park to meet her friends. "Hey girl over here!" yelled Lita. "Hi guys," said Serena happily as she turned around and ran over to her friends. "So what do you guys wanna do?" asked Mina. "How about we go see the new movie Matt Damon is in," suggested Raye. "Matt Damon," they all sighed and went to the movies. ------------------------------------- The next day Serena went to Raye's house. She loved Raye even though she was almost as bad as Darien. Raye's strength determination attracted Serena to her. Maybe it was because she was things Serena wasn't. When she really got to talk to Raye she found that Raye was one of the most interesting people she had ever met. She had learned so much from her. Well most of the time. "Hey Meatball head, you're doing pretty well today, I haven't seen you trip once," Darien remarked smiling catching Serena off guard from her reverie. Even though that heart stopping smile of his was doing wicked things to her insides she still had the presence of mind to think of something wicked she could do to him. So smiling sweetly she replied: "Hello Darien, yeah I am doing pretty well, how about you, how are you doing today?" He was so stunned with her words, instead of her ordinary biting remark, that he didn't notice that she had stuck her foot out. The next thing he knew he was on the ground and Serena was laughing hysterically. Darien looked up at her angrily and she laughed even more. "Oh this is classic I wish I had my camera," she replied still laughing. "Ha, ha, Meatball head," said Darien sarcastically then with a wicked smile he was up, he got right in her face and said: "I'll get you back, Just wait till tomorrow," and he walked away. She was happy she didn't have to say anything back to him because she had been incapable of speech those few moments. She felt like she was drowning in his eyes when he had come up close to her. 'What can I ever do to get through to him' she thought. 'Serena stop it, why would he ever like a dumb girl like me, ahh there I go again. Darien is jerk!' After she had gathered her wits she went off to the temple, by this time she was just dying to see Raye to get her mind off of Darien. ------------------------------------- "Hi Raye," yelled Serena, happy to see her friend as she was running up the temple steps. "Hey meatball head," called Raye. "Not you too!!" Serena whined. Serena had come over to help Raye do chores since she didn't have parents or anyone else for that matter to help. Serena and Raye made idle chit chat about their week and such, but after a while Raye inquired: "What's up with you lately Meatball Head you look as if you realized something of great importance?" Raye said in a semi-sarcastic voice. "Gee pyro you really make a girl want to spill her guts out to you," Serena deadpanned but after a second she replied: "It's Darien's' teasing." "That's nothing new," said Raye puzzled, "you hate him right? So then just ignore it." "Well I don't exactly hate him...," 'why I'm telling her this, I don't know, she will never let me live it down!' "Oh my goodness! You like him don't you?" then with a wicked smile Raye started chanting: "Serena loves Darien, Serena loves Darien" over and over again. Raye was acting totally unlike herself but when her and Serena were together they were pretty hyper. After a while Raye noticed Serena wasn't saying anything and she looked unusually sad. Normally Serena would be yelling at her by now so naturally Raye was worried. "What's wrong?" asked Raye concerned. "Well I like him so much but he doesn't reciprocate my feelings..." "You know what reciprocate means," Raye said mockingly "You know what I don't need this from you, I'm outta here," Serena responded hurt and angry. She got up briskly and started walking away "Wait Serena, wait, I'm sorry, that was totally out of line," Raye yelled as she caught up with Serena grabbed her wrist and spun her around, "I'm really sorry," Raye said again. "I guess I forgive you 'baka'," replied Serena reluctantly. "Thank-you, please continue about Darien I really want to know what's bugging you," said Raye apologetically. "Well, to him I'm just some annoying stupid teenager, I could never be what he wants," she finished sadly barely above a whisper. "Rena don't say that, you are a wonderful person, caring, kind and sweet, and I'll beat anyone up who says otherwise," Raye finished. "Leave it to Jupiter," Serena joked. "Yeah really," Raye chuckled, "and any way you are a cool chick, I know tons of guys who would kill to date you." "Yeah right Raye, but you're a good liar," replied Serena with a melancholy smile. "I know," Raye said with a smug grin, Serena of course whacked her. "Hey," yelled Raye, after that you could hear those two screaming all the way to china ------------------------------------- Monday after School Serena was walking home looking at her test grade. 'A seventy' she thought 'better but still not good, I need to do better. I'm sick of people not taking me seriously, well mostly Darien,' angrily she crumpled up the paper and threw it behind her. "Hey Meatball Head watch where you throw things I'm not a dumpsite you know," said Darien in that mocking tone of his. "Could have fooled me," retorted Serena. "You're getting better Meatball head, you might actually hurt my feelings one day," Darien said laughingly and caught up to her, "lets see here you got a seventy on your paper, at least you didn't fail," Serena whirled around angrily at that, "What exactly is your problem Satan, lay off for once, and my name is SERENA!!!!" She yelled at him. "Me I don't have any problems I don't trip on my face or get bad grades," Darien replied smugly. "Well at least I rather have those traits than have the worst personality ever!" she responded. "Many people would think otherwise Meatball head. That is all a matter of your opinion," he replied with conceit. "Ughhh!!!" Serena groaned and stormed off, she seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, she thought. Normally these little spats made her feel better, but as her feelings for him increased she just wasn't satisfied with them anymore. 'Why do I let him get to me?' 'You know why, there is some truth to what he said' her mind replied. "Shut up shut up shut up," she yelled out loud to no one but her self ------------------------------------- 'Well this day wasn't so bad, the look on Serena's face, amusing as usual. As Darien was going through his apartment he noticed there was a box at the door. It was unmarked, he brought it to the table and opened it up. The box was filled with pictures of his parents and some of him as a baby. Darien had never seen pictures of his parents but he could remember their faces vaguely, they had died when he was young. Feelings of loneliness flooded back to him, days at the orphanage, suffering, the taunting remarks of the children there, having to take many jobs at a time so he could make his way. Tears threatened to spill over but he clamped them down. He never cried and he wasn't about to, but staying in the apartment wasn't helping any. He got his jacket and headed to the park to think. ------------------------------------- "Bye mom I'm going out for a walk," called Serena. "Okay but be back before eleven," yelled down her mother. "Ma it's only six, I'll probably be back way before then," and Serena was out the door. 'Wow it's beautiful out today, maybe I'll see Darien,' thought Serena hopefully. 'Stop getting your hopes up you probably won't' her mind said annoyed, 'Serena can you stop thinking about him for at least five minutes?' 'No' she thought grumpily. 'No wonder I can't even pass a test my brain doesn't even know how to pick the right guys for me.' Then, she saw a tall figure moving out in the back of the park, she should have known it would be…. 'It's Darien, I want to go up to him, but what will I say, oh hi I want to spend my life locked in a dark closet with you. That will go over well. Maybe I can yell at him for earlier today, at least it's something to say,' thought Serena. She wants him so badly Knows what she wants to be Inside her there's longing This girls an open page - Don't Stand So Close to Me, The Police- Serena walked over to him quietly and was about to yell at him when she saw the look of raw pain on his face. "Darien?" said Serena uncertainly. "What Serena," Darien replied in a strained voice. "What's wrong, is there anything I can do to help?," Said Serena quietly. "You can go away," Darien said gruffly. He was on the verge of tears and he didn't want Serena to see them. Serena inhaled sharply and was about to turn away but then she stopped. She couldn't bear to see him in pain. Out of raw courage she wrapped her arms around Darien and whispered: "I won't let you go through this alone." "Let go of me," Darien said in a stone cold voice. "No I don't leave people who are hurting to suffer on their own," replied Serena quietly. "I don't want your pity," he said gruffly. "Darien I don't pity you at all, your one of the most assured people I know," replied Serena. "Then you don't know me very well, let go of me," his voice almost breaking now. "No," said Serena firmly and buried her head in his chest. Darien certainly admired her courage, for he could be quite formidable when he was upset. He almost smiled at her display of kindness, that was so like her but those memories kept flooding back to him. His need for human contact was so intense that he couldn't stand it anymore and he returned Serena's embrace fiercely. "It's okay Darien I'm here for you. You don't have to tell me what's wrong, just know that I'm here if you want to talk about it," said Serena calmly. "I don't know where to begin," Darien said in an uncertain quiet voice. "Just say whatever comes to you, I'm not grading you here," said Serena with a sad smile. He told her about his parent's death, being at the brutal orphanage, the numerous straining jobs, and most of all the utter loneliness of his life. By this time tears where coming out of Darien's eyes, he cried silently into Serena's hair. He held on to her tightly wanting to her happiness and joy of life to seep into his body. For one of the few times in his life he felt secure and cared for, it was a little scary for him to be sharing this with anyone let alone Serena. He stayed in that position for a while and somewhere along the way he crossed the line between wanting comfort and yearning for Serena. Her skin was so soft and warm and her sweet scent surrounded him. An intense mad urge swept through him and he was powerless to stop it. He tried to deny the powerful attraction he felt for Serena but it was near impossible. Darien shifted so his head was near Serena's neck. He was breathing harshly in her ear and he heard Serena gasp. 'Had she noticed?, did she feel like he did at the moment?' 'Only one way to find out' he thought distantly and his aching lips encountered her warm neck. "Darien" he heard her whimper and it made him want her all the more. As he kissed his way up her neck he could feel the breath storming through Serena's body. He soon found her lips, and they were soft and sweet just as he had imagined. After a moment he couldn't take it, he needed more and he crushed her to his body. He was kissing her with a near desperate force, plunging his tongue into her sweet young mouth. He ran his hands all over her sensuous little body, she was driving him insane. 'She always seems to drive me insane one way or the other,' he thought, almost amused but too caught up in the moment to notice. He could hear himself groaning with need, he wanted to possess her, he wanted to control her, he wanted to... "NO!!!" His mind screamed "You can't do this, this is Meatball head we are talking about here, are you crazy!!" But his body didn't give a damn that it was Meatball head. Finally he gathered enough will power, and forced her away from him. "This shouldn't have happened," he replied gruffly. Serena was incredibly hurt, she had been in heaven. She just stood there frozen and shaken. "I have to go," Darien replied and practically ran away. ------------------------------------- The next day after school Serena stopped in the arcade. She was trying to find Darien. "Hi Serena," called Andrew. "Hey," said Serena a bit gruffly. Andrew gave her a strange look and was about to comment. When Darien said: "Hey Andrew, oh Meatball Head, I didn't notice you coming in usually I hear a loud crash and whining loud enough to make anyone go deaf." "I'm…I'm sure… Satan," replied Serena darkly, masking her complete surprise at his cold remark as she walked up to the counter. "Oh I'm so hurt," Darien said in a colder voice than usual. "I'm sure you are," retorted Serena. "Meatball head, strikes again I really want to hear what witty comment you will come up with next" "Darien?" Andrew asks confused, he was being meaner than usual, had he missed something? A big bad fight perhaps? But Serena quickly interjected smugly: "I know you do, Satan." She had no clue where she was going with this, but she was extremely hurt, she had at least hoped they had formed some sort of truce albeit a strange and uncomfortable one. "Don't you know by now that a silly little child like you could never affect me?" and then Darien took his last sip of coffee and walked out the door. 'How does he do it, how can he act like nothing happened, how can he be so heartless?' 'What were you expecting form him anyway, he never had feelings for you in the first place, your just a Meatball head to him.' Serena was so wrapped up in thinking about Darien that she didn't notice the tears welling up in her eyes or that Andrew had come up to her. "Serena do you want to talk about it?" She gasped, startled out of her thoughts to look up at him. "What are you talking about?" she feigned indifference unconvincingly. "Come on Serena that wasn't a normal good natured spat you two just had," a little sob escaped Serena and she looked away. "Man I really love Darien but he was being a major asshole, Serena if I could have I would have said something had he not left so suddenly, you are like a sister to me you know," Serena nodded tears streaming down her face. "Oh come here girl," and Andrew pulled her into his embrace and then led her into the break room. "Serena what's going on did you guys have a fight?" Serena just stared at the floor "Serena?" he questioned. "I went to the park… he looked so sad… I went up to him... and I tried to help him and he told all this stuff about the orphanage... he suffered so much. Oh I'm so confused, I like him so much, and then we were kissing and oh…," cried Serena brokenly. "Whoa, whoa you guys were kissing!!!!? And you like him?!" Andrew exclaimed, what was going on? "I don't know I was holding him and he was crying and then he just started kissing me and then he just left me there," Serena replied still extremely upset. "He was crying?!, and then he initiated a kiss with you?" asked Andrew incredulously. "I see, it is so hard to believe anyone would wan to kiss a dumb ditz like me, right?" spat out Serena mockingly. "No, no, no, Serena, I did not mean it like that. First of all Darien never cries and second he never makes the first move with a girl. Although he never has too because they all throw themselves at him," commented Andrew wryly, "what I mean to say is that he must feel something for you. Darien doesn't just do that in front of any girl." "Well he certainly has a way of showing his feelings." "Serena I know you may not want to hear this and if this was anyone else I would say forget that loser, but Darien although smart in many ways is completely with out a clue in other aspects such as love and friendship. Hell it took years for him to open up with me. It's saying a lot if he told you this much about himself in just a matter of a few months. You guys could barely stand each other, Serena you most definitely have an effect on him no matter what he says, that's what I think at least," Andrew said with a comforting smile. "You really think so, has he ever mentioned me in a good way or something?" asked Serena forlornly. "Well he does mention you, a lot actually, but not in the way you would like to hear. But come to think of it you are the only girl he talks about so that's saying something. And Serena for Darien to lose control like that with you, well I just can't believe that he has no feelings for you, he's really hard to read, and he might even fight you on this, but I have a feeling you are going to be the one to break him down," said Andrew helpfully. "Thanks for you help Andrew," said Serena as she got up, gave him another hug, and headed for the door not wanting to say more or to even hope that what Andrew was saying was even remotely true. ------------------------------------- Serena found herself walking along the pond of the park. She wasn't ready to go home, sit in her room, attempt to do homework, and only end up thinking about Darien. Though it really didn't matter because she was thinking about him anyway, 'well at least I don't have to deal with Luna or Sammy.' 'Why did he have to be my first kiss! Why did he have to do it so well, why did it have to feel like the ground beneath my feet was not there? Why did it have to be all that I dreamed it to be? Why can't there be some sort of injection that could make me forget about him? Who are you kidding you would never want to forget about that kiss!' 'I know I know' Serena said back to her brain resignedly. As she was walking towards the bench she saw none other than Darien sitting there. 'What is the deal!!! Are we destined to see each other a thousand times a day!! Usually I don't mind, but come on!' "Girl you could always turn around he hasn't seen you yet," her mind replied "I lost to much of dignity in the arcade back there, this boy is going to get a piece of my mind." As she walked up to the bench Serena chanted: "You can do it, you can do it," under her breath and sat down on it. It's no use He sees her He Starts to shake he starts to cough - Don't Stand So Close to Me, The Police- She waited for Darien to realize it was her. Apparently he was in la la land, so she cleared her throat. His face swiveled over in surprise. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the one and only meatball head," "I'm going to get straight to the point here Darien, what happened last night?" "Nothing of great importance." He replied coldly "Oh really the impenetrable Darien crying and spilling his guts out among other things constitutes nothing? Why are you acting like this?" she said in a tone of voice that was not to be messed with. "You know what constitu…" apparently he didn't notice. "Darien give me a break for once, I know a lot more than you think," Serena replied heatedly, cutting him off form his sarcastic remark "Look you just happened to be there, that's all, nothing more nothing less," once again Darien remarked in that heartless way of his. "So I could have been any girl, you can honestly say that?" Silence "Darien?" Serena questioned. "Y…yes" he almost sounded like he stuttered, Serena thought. Silence descended once again and Serena thought that maybe if she was completely honest with him than might actually say what was on his mind. Maybe it wouldn't be good but it was better than this cold indifference, 'okay girl time to break out the big guns' "Oh really?" Serena questioned again "Yes really," by this time it seemed as though he had gained more composure, what exactly did he think she was going to do to him? "I don't believe you," where Serena had gotten this newfound courage she didn't know but she was going to go with it, she wanted to prove to him that she was more than just a flaky girl. "What do you want me to do prove it to you, that night didn't mean anything, there is that what you want to hear," he said forcefully. "Yes I want to you to prove it to me because those words you just spit out mean nothing," then all of a sudden Serena straddled Darien on the bench "Serena what the hell are you doing," Darien practically yelled. "I'm going to make you prove something to me," Serena said a little shaken from his anger. "Serena get off of me!" This time Darien really let the annoyance in his voice show. 'Was he getting scared?' Serena wondered. 'Probably not' her mind shot back. "So I don't affect you in anyway? Well then you won't mind…," Serena lowered her mouth to his ear and whispered, "this." And she brought her lips down to his neck kissing him as tenderly as she could. "And this" she whispered in his ear again and kissed right underneath it. She felt Darien freeze like a statue, and she almost lost hope, but something in her heart egged her to continue. "You were my first kiss you know," she continued whispering in his ear "and I liked it," again she kissed him tenderly on his neck. "I don't bite you now, unless you want me too," and Serena proceeded to nip his ear and suck on it lightly. Then a great shuddering breath came out of Darien and she knew he felt something. 'Here goes nothing' she thought shaking from fear, and she kissed Darien's lips lightly, but he was still like a stone cold rock, so she did it again as slowly and as tenderly as possible and she pulled back slowly so that her lips slid along his and then no longer touched them. She did this again and again. But still he remained a statue. Tears started to well in her eyes, she felt humiliated and stupid, she looked up into his eyes, which were now closed tightly. Unexpectedly Darien groaned deep in his throat and his arms came up around her. He pulled her tightly to him, and this time he was the one ravaging her lips. He began kissing her like a drowned man, like he could not get enough of her. He ran his hands over every part of her like he couldn't bear it if every inch of her body wasn't touching his. But once again he shoved her roughly away from him, almost throwing her down on the other side of the bench. He was gripping her arms so tightly that it was actually hurting her. "Don't ask for what you don't really want," he growled. "Darien you're hurting me," Serena whimpered. Darien looked down at his hands like they weren't his, mumbled what sounded like a sorry under his breath making the apology worthless in her mind as he got up to leave. He had taken no more than two more steps when Serena called out to his back "Darien," and he paused for a second "Don't walk away from me like this," and it looked like he considered what she said, but then he kept walking "How do you do it Darien, I don't understand," this time Serena was yelling in anger, she felt cheap and humiliated. "Do what," but he knew, he turned around and faced her. "Stuff your self inside and let no one in? All you are is a scared lonely little boy. You are lost Darien and you're searching for who knows what, but you'll never find it because you are heartless and cold!," returned Serena furiously. "Shut-up!," said Darien getting angry himself not wanting to hear her words. "Personally I don't know how you do it, how do shut people out the way you do, how you love nothing and no one but yourself, if you continue that way you're going to be alone all your life!" Serena continued, crying now because she didn't think she was getting through to him, because he didn't return her feelings. "What would a silly girl like you know about love?" replied Darien furiously and he stalked away Serena went as white as death, and whispered "I'm sorry Darien, so sorry," Oh you're spinning me around My feet are off the ground I don't know where I stand -Sunday, The Cranberries- ------------------------------------- The next day was bleak, windy, and it rained relentlessly. Darien walked into the arcade. Sat down at the counter and waited for Andrew to come over. 'He's in a horrible mood,' Andrew noticed. After five minutes or so Andrew came over with a worried look on his face: "Have you seen Serena or bumped into to her today? Her parents I guess are calling everywhere they just called here and they said she didn't come home yesterday," he stated. "What?," replied Darien completely shocked, this wasn't what he expected to hear. Andrew's eyes suddenly narrowed as he looked at Darien and said: "This doesn't have anything to do with you being a major jerk to her recently does it?," Andrew said crossly. Darien's eyes narrowed also and he replied: "Since when did you become her protector?" "Since she's' needed protecting," retorted Andrew darkly. "Stay out of this, Andrew," and Darien pulled out a five and stormed out of the arcade. Andrew watched his retreating form. He knew Darien was jealous that Serena had come to him, though Darien would never admit it. He hoped Darien was leaving to go make things right. Andrew could tell he was more than completely in love with that little burst of sunshine, which lately had been looking more and more like partly to completely cloudy. ------------------------------------- I have stood here before inside the pouring rain With the world turning circles running 'round' my brain I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign But it's my destiny to be the king of pain -King of Pain, The Police- Darien stepped into the pouring rain, frantic thoughts running through his head. 'Where is that girl? If anything happened to her…, Serena where are you,' his mind screamed. 'You know you are the cause of this' his mind said grimly. "I know," he said out loud in a sigh. Darien ran everywhere, he searched the park the numerous shops, everywhere. He finally came to the bus station, and there she was standing in the rain. Her hair was dripping and her clothes were sticking to her slender body. Her face was puffy and red from hours upon hours of crying. Temptation, Frustration So bad it makes him cry Wet bus stop, she's waiting His car is warm and dry -Don't Stand So Close to Me, The Police- Darien ran up to her and just as he came close she fainted from exhaustion. He caught her and scooped her up in his arms. Tenderly he carried her to his car, buckled her in the passenger seat, and sped away to his apartment. When he got there he told Andrew to call one of the girls to lie for Serena, he needed to talk to her. ------------------------------------- Serena woke up in a dimly lit room, which she figured was Darien's apartment. She found she was in a long shirt and that her clothes were hanging on a nearby chair perfectly cleaned and dried. 'Almost everything Darien does is perfect, with a big emphasis with the almost' Serena thought with a mental chuckle. She noticed Darien fast asleep in a nearby recliner. Serena silently crept out of bed and tiptoed over to the chair and grabbed her clothes. She then silently walked to the door and as she was about to reach the knob. "Where are you going?," Serena spun around in surprise. "I'm…I'm just going," replied Serena shakily. "Where? It's pouring out side," he replied calmly. "I know," she replied making direct eye contact. 'I have to be strong' she told her self. "What to you want from me?" he asked changing the subject completely and unexpectedly sounding strangely hopeful. "Many things you could never be," she said and for once she saw hurt flash in his eyes, and it gave her sick pleasure. She turned around again ready to make a grand exit out of his apartment and out of his life. As she walked away she felt her self be bodily spun and crushed up against Darien's body. He brought his mouth down to hers and kissed her with so much passion it made her cry. But she knew this bliss couldn't continue, she knew he would hurt her again. She forcefully jerked herself away form him and slapped him hard. Crying she said: "That will never get you anywhere with me Darien not after all that has passed between us, after all you have done to me." And once again she turned around and practically ran out of his apartment. She heard him desperately calling her name and she wanted so badly to turn around and rush straight into his arms (if that was even possible considering the way he treated her in the past) but she knew she had to keep running. I can't take this anymore I decided to leave Walked out through the door Oh, and why do you think I go? Because you know it can never be so And you always prove me wrong 'cause you're always putting me down -Put Me Down, The Cranberries- ------------------------------------- Serena finally arrived home. As soon as she stepped through the door, her mother came and hugged her and started blabbering away: "Amy told me all about it honey, the youma attack, and how you were caught in it late at night, I'm so glad you are alright. Amy is so responsible, she called to tell me you were at her house, oh my poor little baby. Do you want me to get you something?" "No mom it's okay I just want to go to bed," Serena was a little surprised that Amy had it in her to lie to her mother like that, but she went with it. She would have never been able to explain spending the night in the park to her mother even. Serena even realized how stupid it was of her to it, but she was so depressed. Exhausted Serena dragged herself upstairs and cried herself to sleep. ------------------------------------- Two weeks had passed, they were most likely the darkest in Serena's life. There hadn't been a youma attack in weeks. Maybe the negaverse was planning something big, but some how that didn't scare Serena as much as she thought it should have. She didn't see Darien much anymore. She would occasionally walk by him on the street, it felt like slow motion every time she walked by him. And she would analyze his face: did he look sad?, was he upset?, but as usual she could never decipher anything. Serena now fully realized that Darien wasn't perfect, completely the opposite actually. She didn't picture him like a god anymore, and for some reason that made her love him more. She wanted to be the one to heal his anger, pain, and whatever else needed to be mended. She wanted to be the one that he ran to when he couldn't figure anything out and nothing made sense. If you, if you could return Don't let it burn, don't let it fade I'm sure I'm not being rude But it's just your attitude It's tearing me apart It's ruining everything -Linger, The Cranberries- ------------------------------------- Serena knew her friends were concerned about her, but she just didn't feel like telling the story a million times over and reliving the pain. She hadn't even told Molly about it, she would eventually. Although Molly was her best friend she knew she would just keep on asking her pointless questions that she just didn't feel like going over. Serena had to go to someone who would just be there for her. Her feet ended up at the temple steps. Raye was there, sweeping. She turned around to look at Serena, whose eyes were filled with tears. Raye dropped her broom and Serena ran up to her. They embraced for a long time with no words spoken, after a few moments they headed inside the temple. ------------------------------------- Darien walked around aimlessly in his apartment. He felt completely lost, as Serena had so correctly said it. 'How does she read me so well?" 'Because you let her," his mind replied. 'Well maybe I want to let her," his heart fought back. 'You know she doesn't really feel anything for you, that's it's just some fleeting emotion,' his mind once again reasoned "Arghhh…," Darien grasped his head in frustration. And his mind just laughed at him. Serena's house the next day. 'Okay you know what, this is completely ridiculous, things with me and Darien can't go on like this, I have every right to know what's going on,' and with that thought Serena grabbed her coat and walked out of her house to Darien's apartment with great determination shining in her face. By the time she reached his apartment she looked more like scared out of her mind then determined. Serena finally reached his front door. She had never been more nervous in her life. She tentatively knocked on his door. The door opened. There he stood, the epitome of dark beauty. He motioned with his hand for her to step into his apartment. As she did she felt the room charge with unspoken words and emotions. Finally, Serena turned around and faced Darien. "Look Darien, unlike you I just can't forget about what has happened. I would like to settle whatever it is that is between us," Serena said in an uncertain voice. "And," she continued, "I would like to part today on good terms, at the very least friends," she finished quietly. "You and I could never be friends," Darien said. Serena inhaled sharply and brought her hand up to her heart, she felt it burst, she felt like she couldn't breathe. She did what she had become so good at doing lately, she ran. Don't think me unkind Words are hard to find They're only cheques I've left unsigned From the banks of chaos in my mind And when their eloquence escapes me Their logic ties me up and rapes me -De do do do , de da da da, The Police- Darien picked up a vase of roses and threw it against a wall, and then he slumped down to his knees and cried, for his inadequacies, for his insecurities. It was true they never could be friends because when she was anywhere near him he felt like kissing her, holding her, talking to her, spinning her, he lost control. But he knew if he did this he could get hurt somehow. Why wouldn't he let himself surrender? Why did he continue to hurt her? Why couldn't he just go to her? He had never depended on anyone one in his life, would it be so scary to do so? What would he do if he did start to depend on her and she stopped loving him one day? Did she love him? Was the lonely shell he built to protect himself with worth not being with Serena? Was this pain worth not being with Serena? Darien felt like his brain was going to burst, he needed he needed something, fast. She was wrong, dead wrong, the past two weeks of her life weren't the darkest these were. Darien had started dating some chick that was his age. He brought her to the arcade every time he went there. Serena saw them walking the streets together and going to get ice cream often. The image of those two together was burned into her mind. Serena consoled her self by thinking that he was running scared from her. She just couldn't imagine that he shared any of his past with this woman, she seemed so dark. She wouldn't make him happy like she could. She was just like him, tall, dark, beautiful, and brooding. 'Good luck with her Darien', thought Serena darkly. Still thoughts of her inadequacies compared to this woman surfaced in her mind much to often. She knew nothing about this woman, she could actually be the love of his life for all she knew. He could have shared his past with her, he could be having fun with her. Maybe she did light his day up. She was smart and she was irresistible. Continuing on this negative vein, Serena could not help but picture them kissing and embracing. She felt so nauseated by the whole thing that she just curled up in her bed and stared at the wall. No tears came, but how could they, she had cried so much already that nothing came out anymore, just a deep silent grief. "Man they are so wrong for each other," said Andrew to himself, leaning on the counter and watching Darien and that girl together. "I agree with you completely," answered Raye, Andrew looked at her a little surprised he hadn't expected to see her at the arcade. "I'm glad you've noticed, I wonder when he will," Andrew said worriedly. "Oh Darien definitely knows that girl is all wrong for him," Raye said confidently. "Yeah maybe you're right," Andrew said thoughtfully. "It's all just a matter of when he is going to stop running scared from what him and Serena have," Raye said staring over at the couple. "It could be to late, he has messed up so much with Serena," Andrew replied with a shake of his head. "Could be," and Raye proceeded to sit down and order a drink. One week later. "Andrew do you know where Darien is?" Serena asked him with a frenzy tingeing her voice. "I'm pretty sure he went to the park, you know by the bench under the willow tree," Andrew said a little confused. "Okay… Okay thank-you Andrew," Serena said hurriedly and ran to the arcade doors. "Serena him and that girl broke up," Andrew called to her just before she left. Serena turned around and replied: "I know." There he was, tall, beautiful, and lost, standing under the willow tree and looking out towards the lake. Serena didn't know why she was doing this again, why she was willing to put herself through possibly more pain. She knew that she was being silly, hoping that maybe he liked her. Though she couldn't help it, she had such strong feelings for him that they couldn't be ignored. She figured she would keep on hurting herself until it killed her. That's what love makes you do, she guessed. She walked up to him, and about five feet away he sensed her presence and looked up at her out of turbulent blue eyes. She stopped half a foot away from him. She could feel the tension surrounding them; she could practically grab a chunk of it. Serena reached up her hands to touch his face, but he grabbed her wrists. "Don't touch me," he said sounding furious. Tears welled up in Serena's eyes, but she stayed, his hands still grasping her wrists. "What are you so afraid of!" she yelled at him tears coming down her eyes. Darien just looked away. "Answer me!" Her voice rising in pitch. But she didn't let him answer. Instead she spoke again, asking: "What happened with that girl?" Serena changed the topic. Darien turned his head to look at her again and he dropped her wrists. "She broke up with me," Darien replied calmly. Serena turned her face away, saddened. 'He didn't break up with her, maybe he still wants to be with her.' "Serena what are you doing here," Darien asked sounding annoyed and that was when Serena blew up. "What am I doing here, what am I doing here, you dare to ask me such a dumb question! Damnit Darien, I'm in love with you! I want to know if there is any chance we could be together! All I ever do is think about you, I haven't stopped since we first met. I was so scared, I couldn't understand why I was so drawn to you of all people. But I was and it got worse as the days went by. I tried to date other boys, I flirted with other boys in an attempt to get you off my mind, but it only made everything worse. Darien it's so bad that I can't even think of being with anyone else. The thought of dating another boy sickens me. I can't even look at them anymore without comparing you to them, with out thinking how much I would rather be with you. So does that answer you question? But I'm sure you already knew all this with the way I so stupidly throw my self at you!" She ended her little speech sobbing and yelling at him at the same time, she sank to her knees in front of him, in a limp heap, her slight form shaking with her tears. Darien stared down at her, his eyes rounded in horror, he had no idea that her feelings for him were that deep. He felt a little dizzy from shock. His legs no longer wanted to stand up and he too sank to his knees. "S...Serena do you really love me?" Darien asked shakily while gripping her forearms in order to make her look up at him. "Yes!" She spat out angrily, her blue eyes flashing at him. She tried to get out of his grasp, but his grip on her only tightened. "I'm so sorry Serena, I didn't know, I didn't know," his eyes looking down on her begging for forgiveness, and she looked away confused and upset. "Darien I don't understand, what are you saying," she asked turning her head to look at him. "I…I…What you just said to me is exactly how I feel about you, I pushed you away because I thought you had a silly crush on me. I couldn't bear it if we were together and you didn't feel as strongly about me as I felt about you. I thought I would overwhelm you and you would just get freaked out and leave me," Darien said love and sorrow shining in his eyes. A few sobs escaped Serena's mouth, she just couldn't believe it! "Oh Darien I want you to overwhelm me, because all the feelings I have for you are just as overwhelming and I wouldn't be satisfied with any less from you," she said her beautiful blue eyes swimming with tears. Silence fell on them for a moment from the magnitude of what they had just said, and then Darien spoke up again. "The reason that Alexis broke up with me, is because she would always catch me staring at you, or you butt," Serena blushed and Darien couldn't help but steal a kiss from her lush lips, after a few moments of sweet distraction he continued, "What finally killed it was when she went to kiss me and I called her your name by mistake. Serena I was so stupid I know, but you have to understand this is all new for me, I'm an idiot when it comes to stuff like this," he said resting his forehead on hers. "Give me one more chance Serena, I promise I won't mess up this time," he pleaded. Serena smiled a shy smile that Darien thought was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. 'Okay' she had said and he pulled her up tight and kissed her hungrily. After a while he started kissing the bottom of her neck and he slowly made his way up to her ear, he felt her shiver and he moaned into her neck reveling in it's softness. When he finally reached her ear he whispered: "I love you, Serena." ------------------------------------- Andrew and Rita made their way to Darien's apartment. Rita had forgotten her earrings in Darien's bathroom a while ago, so they went today to go pick them up. Andrew gave Rita the key because he had to make a quick stop at the store right next to Darien's apartment. Rita got to his door and opened it, the TV was on and she could smell food cooking in his kitchen. Apparently he was still there, which was odd because he was usually busy running his errands about now. She walked into the kitchen and her heart almost stopped at the sight. Darien was sitting on his counter drinking coffee and reading the paper but the shocking part was that Serena was sitting cross-legged in between his legs reading a magazine like they had been best friends forever. Then Darien took a sip of his coffee put it down and gave Serena a kiss on the back of her head. Serena then turned around and gave him a kiss on the lips which soon turned into a little session, newspaper and magazine forgotten. Rita didn't know what to do she felt very strange just standing there, so she cleared her throat to alert them of her presence. Both of their heads whipped around to look at her. Serena blushed and Darien had a look of surprise on his face. "Whoa I didn't know you were there, was my door open or something?" Darien asked. "No, I figured I could pick up my earrings today, so Andrew gave me the key because he figured you weren't home," Rita said. "Oh yeah, okay, I found your earrings and I put them in an envelope by the phone, over there," Darien pointed with his head. Rita went to go get them but she stopped midway and asked: "One question, Serena and Darien, Did I miss something?" And they both laughed loudly. The few days after they had gotten together they had gotten a real kick out of shocking everyone. "Rita, I would say you missed a lot," replied Andrew coming from behind her. "Hey Andrew," Darien called over to him, "I'm sorry about the other day," he said apologetically. "No problem bud, I'm just happy to see things are going your way for once," said Andrew smiling at how much Darien had changed for the better since Serena. "Oh things are definitely going my way," and Darien wrapped his arms around Serena and kissed her cheek tenderly. Rita smiled, before Serena Darien would have never displayed affection in front of people like he just did.