Fading Hope
	Part 5/?
	By: Elisabeth James

	Hopefully I get just a little more feedback this time :) 
Thanks for everyone who is putting up with this fic, I realize what a
downer it is to read, but I will try to not make the ending too sad :)
	Disclaimer: If I can’t even get a boyfriend, what makes you
think I own Sailor Moon?  Just curious :)


	With a soft tap another rose was gently tossed on top of the
lowering coffin.  The crimson color of the flowers disappeared into
the cold unfeeling ground.  It was that ground that claimed her
mother at this moment in time.  Quiet weeping surrounded her from
every angle, despite the fact that she had no more tears left to cry. 
Her eyes were dry, but her heart had stopped beating.  She was
nothing but a cold and empty shell.  She knew Mamoru stood next to
her, holding her hand tightly, but nothing could reach her, not even
the gentle touch of her love.
	She walked slowly toward the open grave and stared down at
the dark brown wood of the coffin and the roses.  She could smell
their sweet fragrant scent floating up, but she took no real notice in
them.  She closed her eyes and said a silent prayer.  
	Without warning the ground beneath her feet slid away and
she felt herself falling.  Like the plummeting her soul had done when
she heard the doctors say she was gone  She opened her eyes to see
dirt surrounding her, and people above her peering down.  A pain
shot through the leg she had landed hard on, but she stood up on it
anyway, screaming for help.
	“Dad!  Mamoru!  Someone help me!” she clawed at the dirt
walls desperately, trying to climb out.  It was futile in the end, the
ground was too soft and crumbled away in her hands.  She heard the
funeral procession moving away from the grave to let the
gravediggers do their work.
	“Wait don’t leave me down her-” her words were cut off by
dirt flying into the grave.  Shovels of earth rained down upon her. 
She kept screaming over and over again, but her cries were invisible. 
The never ending downpour continued, burying her alive.
	Usagi shot straight up in her bed, sweat dripping from her
forehead.  She was breathing heavy, physically forcing the air in and
out of her lungs.  The feeling of suffocation hung over her head,
unwilling to release her from it’s tight grasp.  It was so real, every
touch, every sound seemed so realistic.  
	Attempting to subdue the feelings of dread that had coiled
around her heart and lungs, she lept out of bed and down the hall to
her mother’s room.  She pushed open the door softly and saw her
mom sleeping soundly in her bed.  She slid down the wall to the
floor and tried to fight the tears that were coming quickly to her
eyes.  A quiet sob escaped her lips and she buried her face in herhands.
	*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*	She swung back and forth on the tire swing suspended from
the large tree outside the Tsukino household.  She rested her face
against the cool rubber and felt the wind swirl around her.  She
closed her eyes and the feeling of sleep washed over her.  She was
exhausted, her body ached from lack of rest and her mind buzzed
with the undercurrent of thoughts that ran rampant.  
	She wanted nothing more than to quiet them, and make
everything disappear without a trace.  Have the entire world fall
away and taking every human emotion with it.  She wanted no more
pain, no more suffering, only quiet.  She wanted her mother to never
endure the pain she was in right now.
	She arched her neck toward the sky, the sun’s blissful rays
beamed down upon her lovely features.  With a slight smile on her
face she listened to the birds chirping in the tree above her head.
	Suddenly her feet left the ground and the familiar feeling of
flying washed over her.  She left out a joyful laugh as she flew
higher toward the treetop.  She slowly released her arms and spread
them out to catch the wind.  Her long hair fluttered on her shoulders
and back.  She glanced back down and saw a smiling Mamorulooking up at her.
	At the sight of him, she felt her heart sped up in her chest,
that nervous feeling filled her from head to toe.  She slowed herself
down and stopped right in front of him.  She turned around and
flashed him a cocky smile.
	“Did you enjoy your flight?” he asked her, all tones serious. 
She jumped off the swing, “Always, I haven’t done that since I was
little.  You forget how much you miss the simple things in life when
you get older.”	“Tell me about, I’m the expert in that department.  I grew up
so fast, I bet I hold the world’s record for most mature ten old.” she
giggled a little and led him inside the house.
	“Dad, Mamoru is here, we are going upstairs to visit mom.”
Kenji said something but Usagi was charging upstairs too fast to hear
it.  Things had been weird to say the least between Usagi and her
father after that fight a few days ago.  Neither one of them had
mentioned it, an unspoken truce had been called.  Tension ran high
these days in the Tsukino house.
	“Mamoru, what a pleasant surprise, Usagi hasn’t brought you
over here for a few days now.  It was starting to get boring.” There
was no doubt that Ikuko wasn’t doing too well anymore.  The
weariness showed outwardly, her eyes were sunken and her thin blue
hair gave off an appearance of someone who was giving up the fight. 
She remained upbeat, but with Mamoru’s medical training it was
easy to diagnose that it wouldn’t be long now.  She was hiding things
from her family, about how bad the pain really was.  He couldn’t
possibly give her more than two weeks to live.
	It broke his heart to even think that about Ikuko, she was
such a good person, someone who deserved to see her family grow
up.  But as he already knew life was almost always unfair.  He
couldn’t tell Usagi how bad the situation was, she would be
devastated with grief.  He hated seeing her cry, each tear that fell
from her eyes was like a knife cutting through his heart.
	“Usagi, do you think I could speak to Mamoru alone for just
a moment, it won’t take long.” a perplexed look crossed the young
rabbit’s face, but she nodded and left to go find Shingo to see what
he was up to.	“Come here, I won’t bite.” Ikuko smiled at this young man
who had such a pure heart.  She patted the bed and he took a seat
facing her.  “I can tell by the look on your face that you know I’m
hiding things my family.  I know you’re a doctor at that fancy
hospital, you all seem to know what’s really going on when everyone
has no clue.  All I ask is that you don’t tell Usagi, she’s been
depressed, and this would weigh more on her than anything else. 
She doesn’t need to know how much pain I’m in.”
	He simply nodded, finding nobility in the situation.  One
person hiding their pain so that another person might not suffer
worse than they are already.  She was truly a mother, even nearing
death still willing to do anything to protect her children from
unneeded pain.  The only thing she couldn’t protect them from was
when she actually left this world.  He had a slight idea that’s wherehe came in.
	“And I just wanted to let you know that you have my
blessing.” she told him with an all knowing grin. It took it a minute
to sink in, he stared at her mouth gaping.
	“How did you know?  I didn’t tell anyone-” she cut him off
with a kind-hearted touch on his arm.
	“I’m her mother and I can see the love in your eyes every
time you look at her.  You’re her match Mamoru, she feels the same
way about you.  You two are made for each other and there’s
nothing more that I want to see than my daughter happy and if it’s
you that can do that for her...  Then I wish you two nothing more
than a happy life together.” her eyes misted over and she gave the
young man a hug.  As they separated she looked at him with her eyes
narrowed, “Just don’t wait too long to make your move.” she shook
her finger at him sternly.
	“You don’t have to tell me twice, mind if I steal your
daughter for a picnic in the park this afternoon?” Ikuko shook her
head slowly, “Go and have a good time.”  Mamoru left the room,
and went off to find Usagi.
	Ikuko looked out the window, the sun blazed high in the sun. 
The golden rays spilled in through the window and onto the
bedspread.  She smiled, although the sun was setting on her own life,
she knew it was just rising on Usagi’s.  She knew on the inside that
she wouldn’t last through the week, she was far too weak to keep
going on.  She would say goodbye to everyone soon, right now she
would allow Usagi time with Mamoru.  She could rest now that she
knew Usagi would be taken care of, her family would be taken care
of.  They would pull through this, they always had and wouldcontinue to do so.
	*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*	“You were planning this from the beginning weren’t you?”
she watched as he pulled a fully loaded picnic basket from the back
of his truck.  He simply grinned and took her arm.  He led her to a
large shade tree and they sat down.
	“I hope I packed something you like Usagi.” the two
exchanged a look and burst out laughing.
	“When have I ever refused any type of food in front of you?”
she asked through the gales of laughter.  He couldn’t even answer
her but handed her a carton of food.  She took it gratefully andopened it up.
	“Ooh!  Fried shrimp!” she dug into the food quickly.  He sat
there watching her every movement.  He drank her in like a cold
glass of water on a ninety degree day.  And to him she was muchmore refreshing.
	When she stopped her feeding frenzy she looked at him
staring at her.  She scooted closer to him and put her head on his
shoulder.  “What are you thinking about?” she whispered in his ear. 
Every word send shivers down his spine.
	“How beautiful you are.” he whispered back.  She looked
startled for a moment, like a deer caught in the headlights of a
speeding car.  Her face relaxed and she smiled.  It only lasted a few
seconds before Mamoru’s lips were on hers.

	To be continued!!!!!

	HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  I live up to my evil mad
scientist in training title!!!  Well what did you expect I had to leave
off somewhere, it’s not my fault it was right here in this particular
spot.  So tell me what you think, this chapter was not so bad huh, I
tried to not make it too depressing, expect it to be really sad next
chapter though.  Break out those tissues Usako!!
	Special thanks to: Clare-chan, Kelly, Adrianne, SB, Meredith 
(my wonderful editor)  and all of you who have written me about 
this fic.  It really means a lot to me :) 
Thank you all so much, you are all the reasons I continue my writing.