CHAPTER 1 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The dreams didn't stop.... They never stopped... Every night to this day I have the same dream over and over again... I'd always wake up crying... sweating... They're gone... They're gone ... and I'm alone... I'm all alone... There's no one here for me... No one cares... lonely... hollow... The alarm clock goes off... It's 6 am... Time to go... I get up... Time to return to the shell I live in... No one can know this me that suffers every night.. it will only bring pain... no more pain... no... more... I quickly shower and dress in a white turtle neck, dark blue sweater and a pair of dark khakis. I grab a warm jacket and head to work. Today starts just like a normal day. The snow has been falling too hard for me to walk or drive safely to work, but it's only a couple of blocks to the office. I like enjoying the scenery. It's the only thing I can enjoy about this time of year. I reach my office building. It's one of the larger buildings in town, because the company I work for is Chiba International. For some reason that name seems utterly familiar, like I should know it from somewhere. I stop suddenly looking at the dark building inside. Oh man, I forgot yesterday was my last day before Christmas. I hate the holidays. Maybe if I had someone special to share it with. Ha, I thought bitterly. Like someone would be stupid enough to share holidays with me. I was no one. Who would want Mamoru Shields? My name even mocks me, because it isn't my real one, I know. Well, not my real last name, at least. When they found me I was clutching to a stuffed teddy bear with a tag on it that said 'To Mamoru'. The doctors assumed it to be my name. They didn't know my last name because my parents were so badly injured in the face they couldn't tell who they were, and they never found my dad's wallet or my mom's purse. I sighed, remembering my current situation. Well maybe I'll go by Furuhata Fruit Parlor and chat with Motoki. I haven't seen him in a while. I walked down the street briskly through the snow-covered side walk to keep warm, silently wishing I had a family for the holidays. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The sliding doors of Furuhata Fruit Parlor slid open as a quite glum Mamoru Shields walked through the door. He didn't even notice the cheery ball of sunshine heading towards him, as he stared straight at the floor, walking ahead. "Dashing through the snow In a one-horse open sleigh O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way Ha Hahaha Ha Bells on bob tails ring Making spirits bright What fun it is to ride and sing A sleighing song tonight, OH! Jingles Bells, Jingles Bell-*umph!*" And with that Usagi and Mamoru collided. Usagi was immediately bowing before the person she bumped into. "Gomen Nasai... Gomen Nasai... I am sooo sorry, I didn't see you there because I was so preoccupied in the holiday spirit." She said finally looking up to see who she bumped into. "Mamoru-kun? Daijoubu Ka? I didn't mean to run you over you.." She said, obviously in an extremely GOOD Christmas mood as she bent towards him and offered to help him up. Mamoru stared strangely at her before finally accepting her hand. She laughed at the look on his face. He immediately regained his senses and nodded. "Hai, Daijoubu... How about you Usagi-chan? Daijoubu Ka? You are being too nice to me... I don't deserve such kindness..." He muttered the last two lines, returning to his glum mood. Usagi, not hearing his mutters, or either not acknowledging that she heard them, laughed and smiled. "Hai, I'm wonderful today Mamoru-kun. Just think... only five more days 'till Christmas, it's snowing wonderfully and you haven't called me Odango once..." she said and then whispered, "although I kinda miss it." She immediately spoke up again, "And all in all I'm in a wonderful Christmas mood!" She exclaimed cheerily. She looked up at him once again smiling. "How about you, Mamoru-kun? Ready for a visit from Jolly Saint Nick?" She asked, not prepared for the following words that came from his mouth. "Does it look like I'm in the mood for all your cheery Christmas mush?" He spat, mad that he couldn't have a wonderful Christmas like Usagi. "Grow up, Usagi... Christmas is not all it seems to be." He said and stalked away from he over to Motoki at the counter and sat down angrily, which Usagi mistook as anger at her, rather than anger at himself for being such an ass.* Motoki looked over Mamoru's shoulder as Usagi's Christmas spirit dropped, a crystalline tear flowing down her cheek, her shoulders slumped and her head bowed. She headed quickly out the automatic doors, forgetting her jacket on her stool at the counter. He immediately glared at Mamoru. "Jerk... Mamoru, you are nothing but a big jerk. How could you do that to Usagi-chan, of all people?" He hissed, causing Mamoru to return the glare. "It's not like she cares what I say! She's probably over at the Sailor V game right now.." He turned towards it, expecting to see her. When she wasn't there, he looked all around the Fruit Parlor, before his eyes settled on the little pink jacket with the tiny rabbit embroidered on the pocket. "Usa?" He murmured. He turned back to Motoki who was standing there glaring at him. "She left crying and jacket-less, because of you! Have some compassion Mamoru! Let someone in! It's the only reason you are the way you are! You are scared to feel." 'She left crying and jacket-less.' His Usa was out there in the freezing snow storm, crying. 'She left crying...' 'Because of you!' 'Have some compassion Mamoru.' 'Because of you!' 'She left crying and jacket-less.' 'Because of you!' 'Let someone in!' 'Because of you! She left crying and jacket-less, because of you!' Without another word, Mamoru stood and grabbed the jacket, heading out the doors, Motoki sadly shaking his head. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mamoru walked hastily down the streets, the cold winter snow nipping harshly at his face. 'Oh Usa... Kami-sama...Kami-sama....don't let anything happen to her... Please I haven't told her yet. I haven't told her how I feel. She hates me. Let me find her and prove to her who I am. Oh Kami-sama...' He suddenly began to jog ignoring the ice now stinging his face as he let his heart lead him along the streets of Tokyo, passing all the Christmas lights and decorations. He soon found himself in the Kyoto Park. He ran along the paths leading to the lake and came up empty. He next ran along the paths leading by the springs. Empty. After many empty leads he finally stopped and closed his eyes. He called upon his power as Tuxedo Kamen and suddenly felt a little pull at his heart, not unlike the one he felt for Sailor Moon, however, this was not Sailor Moon. This pull came all from his heart, and not his brain. He quickly followed the lead, and when he felt it grow stronger he began to run. Then he saw her. Walking slowly, shivering terribly, from the cold, he thought. His heart broke. 'Usa...' He quickly walked up behind her, grabbing her shoulders and turning her around, pulling her cold, shivering body close. "'Huh-- M-Mamoru-kun?" She stuttered shakily as her warm jacket was wrapped around her shoulders. He pulled her once again into his embrace and began to lead her out of the park. "Mamoru-kun? Where..." She suddenly sneezed before finishing her sentence. "Where are you taking me?" She looked up, forgetting her tear stained face. 'Why on earth did Mamo-chan come find me? Maybe he feels the same for me?' One part of her hoped. 'Get real Usagi, what would Mamoru-kun want with you? He has everything. He doesn't need you.' She looked away painfully as her eyes filled with tears once again. He looked down at her. "Oh no, Usa don't cry again." 'I didn't mean it. Whatever I did I didn't mean it.' He thought, not realizing he said the first sentence out loud. Usagi quickly jerked her head up, taking the comment completely bad, as if he couldn't stand the annoying sight of her crying like a baby again. "I.." she started, her voice cracking as the tears flooded her eyes. 'Why can't he like me, even only as a friend?' She shook her head hopelessly, swallowing the tears in her throat and jerked away from him. "I'm sorry... I know I cry way too much, Mamoru-kun... and I don't mean to.. I know I look so babyish to... to someone as mature and c-cool as you." She paused feverishly rubbing her tears away. "And I know you hate me, and that Motoki sent you to get me, so I'll just go now. I don't want you to have to baby-sit me, when I know you hate me." She whispered, turning away from him and running down the pathway. 'Hate? I could never, ever hate you, Usa... Ai...' He bit his lip, staring after her as a solemn tear rolled down his cheek. 'Aishiteru.'*** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JAPANESE WORDS Hai-Yes Daijoubu Ka? Are You Okay? Daijabou-I'm Fine Gomen Nasai-I'm Sorry Aishiteru-I Love You *(AN: No, Not as in butt, or the curse word terminology. As in Mule, Donkey, Jack-ass etc.. Being stupid. You get the drift) ***(AN:I know what you're thinking. I love you? so soon? Well, think about it. Mamoru has secretly had a crush on Usagi for a while now, he's just scared to admit it. Anyway... It's a short Story. It's gotta go quick.)