I Forgot to Tell You a semi-songfic by Sailor Em AN: here's a short fic that I was inspired with when I was listening to my Sarah McLachlan CD! For best results, read this story while listening to 'I love you' by Sarah McLachlan. All comments and criticism at SailorGalaxia1@yahoo.com .....arigato! By the way, this is all in Darien's point of view. Ja ne, Emily ~Darien~ I decided to let destiny take its course. I sat on the bench, waiting for my gold haired angel to walk up the hill. When would she be here? I remember that she would always walk up this hill, after she left the arcade. I would sneak out the arcade, watching her, wondering where my angel would go after I bombarded her with devastating blows to her self-esteem. I sighed. I took a quick peek at my watch. 4:30. I had just insulted Serena half an hour ago, a blow that was harsher than anything else. What it was...I'm too ashamed to tell. I will never repeat what I said. It was so terrible, so harsh of me. I wince as my performance in the arcade replays itself in my head. After I delivered the horrifying remark, I pretended to saunter out of the arcade casually. But my heart was breaking. I lost her. I really lost her. How could I have been such a jerk? Even I knew I had crossed the line of no return. She would never forgive me for my desecration of her heart. But I had to try. So I dragged myself to this green hill, waiting for the owner of my heart to come walking. So I could dump myself at her feet and beg for forgiveness. For mercy. For anything this beautiful angel would cede to me. When had I begun to be like this? Wonder over my every move when I was around Meatball Head, worry if I insulted her. I concluded I was going insane. I sighed. Yes, insane about her. I've never felt this way about someone, and being the amateur that I was, screwed it up big time. So big, that I was afraid that peace could never be resurrected. I don't even know when I began to love Meatball Head...I guess it was last year. I was a junior, and she was in 8th grade. The first time I met her, I just felt this connection with her. And what did I do to strengthen that connection? I called her a Meatball Head and got her angry at me. Good going, Darien. This year she went to my high school, and I saw more of her. And insulted more of her. My affection grew and grew, till it became this monstrosity I have a tendency to label 'Love.' Now it's huge, all consuming. Eww...that sounds disgusting. No matter how consuming it is, I could positively say that it was the best thing that has happened to me. The only problem was that I couldn't let her love me back. I shivered. The wind was starting to blow. When would she arrive? My courage was beginning to disappear.... Suddenly, I heard a noise. Someone walking slowly up the hill. Someone sniffling loudly. I sat up, grinning. * I have a smile Stretched from ear to ear To see you walking down the road * "Serena?" I whispered. She looked up startled. I noticed her eyes were filled with tears, probably caused by me. "Go away, Darien." she said so quietly, that I had to stoop to catch her soft voice. * We meet at the lights, I stare for a while, the world around us disappears * "I need to talk to you, Serena." I said softly. Her eyes blazed. "Didn't you say enough, Darien? Didn't you have enough perverse fun hurting me? I've certainly had enough." her voice raised higher and higher. "I'm sick and tired of my heart getting trampled on by an insolent man like you, Darien. I don't care if you're the cutest guy in high school. You are a jerk. You hear me? A total egotistical cad. Nothing is ever going to change that." she screamed. "Don't you understand how much it hurts? Do you have any IDEA how much you hurt me? Even if you did, I doubt that you would stop. You're not that kind of man. You are cruel. Crueler than anyone else in this world. You have no sensitivity for others." she stopped, breathing heavily at her sudden loss of energy. I winced, as if her shouting were physical blows. "Serena, I'm sorry." She stopped breathing for a moment, her eyes enormous in her beautiful face. "What....did you just say?" she whispered. * Just you and me on my island of hope, A breath between us could be miles, Let me surround you, my sea to your shore, Let me be the calm you seek * "I'm sorry I hurt you. It's not my fault." Her eyes blazed again. "How is it not your fault, Darien? Didn't you say the words? Didn't your brain tell you to say them? You were in control the whole time, Darien. It was you. It was you. You chose to hurt me. Not anyone else." I looked desperately at her. "It's not. It's not my fault! You have to believe me! It's yours. It's all yours. You caused all this." She gritted her teeth, tears rolling down her cheeks in anger. "What. Is. My. Fault?" * Oh, and every time I'm close to you There's too much I can't say And you just walk away * I lost it. All my self control, all my dignity, my pride. I couldn't stand it anymore. I stood up. "How do you think? You made me love you, Serena! How could you do this to me? Your meatballs...your laugh...your beautiful smile...your kindness and compassion...even the way you eat your ice cream is so adorable...nobody could resist you!" I shook my head in self-derision. "How could I do it to myself? Dammit, Serena, do you KNOW how much control I have to have not to hold you forever? You have NO idea what cruelty is. So I'll tell you. Cruelty is not remembering a single thing about your parents. Their voices, their faces, their clothes. Nothing. Cruelty is being orphaned, in a home where nobody wants you. Cruelty is when you love someone that can't love you back, because you have nothing about you that's love worthy. You have experienced NOTHING. Nothing at all. Don't give me that crap about your terrible life. I have no life. I can't even love you." I screamed this at her, watching her pink face go from angry to shocked, from guilty to innocent confusion. "What?" she whispered. "You love me? How can this be? I mean...I.. the way you treat me...how can you...but.." * And I forgot to tell you I love you The night's too long And cold here without you. * "I'm sorry." I whispered again. "I know you didn't want this to happen. Please, Serena, you've got to believe me. I'm sorry I haven't been kind to you, but you have got to believe me. I never meant to hurt you...I just didn't want to be hurt by anyone..I didn't want to love you, but now that I do...I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world." I closed my eyes, waiting for her retort, the cutting retort that would blast me into darkness. It never came. "Oh, Darien." I opened my eyes. Serena had walked closer to me, her hands clasped together, her eyes filled with tears. "Oh....Darien." Suddenly she ran at me, engulfing me in a gentle hug. I was assaulted by the gentle perfume she wore, the light flowery scent pervading my senses. I memorized it, feeling her soft golden hair, billowing all around us. She held me tightly. I slowly put my hands around her slim waist, feeling privileged for this once-in-a-lifetime event. After this, I thought sadly, we would be back to the old Darien and Serena. She whispered in my ear. "I'm sorry, too." I silently sighed. "Why?" I asked, breathing into her hair. Her silky hair...I've longed to touch it for so long... "Because I love you too." * I grieve in my condition For I cannot find the strength to say I need you so * I gasped, unbelieving. "What?" She looked into my eyes, crystal blue clashing with midnight blue. She smiled gently. "I love you too." "But..but...wha..how.." I sputtered, in shock. This couldn't be happening. This never happened to people like me. Unrequited love being requited. Was this a dream? A beautiful...perfect dream. I touched her face tentatively. "Are you a dream, Angel?" She laughed, touching her nose with mine. "Sorry, buddy. No can do. This is as real as you can get." She put her head on my shoulder, holding me close. "I'm sorry, Darien. I didn't realize how much you were hurting. Please, forgive me?" I grasped her tightly. "Serena, you're the one that needs to forgive me. You have done nothing...It was all me...I've been so foolish..." "Sssshhh." she whispered. "Don't worry. I forgive you." And she kissed me. It fulfilled all my dreams...my dreams to be loved by one who I would love desperately. It was sweeter than I could ever imagine, sweeter than I would ever dare to imagine. I couldn't believe this was really happening! My body was filled with lightness...the feeling to scream and shout exuberantly to the world that I was in love... As we parted, gasping for air, I smiled rakishly at her. "Meatball Head--" She scowled. "Darien.." she warned. "I love you." I winked at her. She immediately softened, smiling her gorgeous smile for me. She stood on her tippy toes, reaching my chin. She lifted her arms and grasped my neck. I could feel her grin. "Same to you, you darling jerk." I held her close and smiled. This would definitely not be the last time I would hold her like this. "If I gave you my heart," Serena whispered, "Would you give me yours?" "No." her eyes widened. I smiled as I continued, "Because you've had it from the very beginning." She gasped in delight, and snuggled in deeper as we walked down the green hill, the setting sun in the background. I had decided to let destiny take its course. And that was the best decision I'd ever made in my life. * And every time, I'm close to you, There's too much I can't say And you just walk away And I forgot to tell you I love you And night's too long And cold here, without you. I grieve in my condition, For i cannot find the strength to say I need you so. I need you so. * ~~~~~~~~~~~ so, you like? if you didn't, here's your chance to write a huge flame to me! just as long as it's not too hot to burn me. ^_^ thanks for taking the time to read this little story, it's the first one-parter i've written. ja ne!~sailor em <3<3<3<3<3