Title: On the Outside Looking In Author: Kell Email: 4kah@sisna.com Chapter:4 Rating:PG Disclaimer: Sorry, I lost sailormoon in gambling. Kids, I'm warning you, never gamble Author Notes: I gotta thank some of my great buddies. Now, first off, i need to say sorry to Tara, my old editor. We kind a lost touch, and I'm really sorry. I guess I wasn't ready for an editor, Tara. I have to thank Fifi and Tif. Two amazing writers. Go check out their stories. Also, thanks Kitty Kat for giving me support. Also to SMRFF, like Moon Klutz, Rosegirl, and Missy. Go check out P-120's stories. She's so kind, and a talented writer. Great News! I have two great editors Sailor Elysia and Rosegirl! They're the greatest! "Andrew", she spat out. What are you doing here"? "Serena, it's you", he cried out joyfully. "You're the mystery songwriter." Awe was written across his face. His eyeballs were huge; still barely able to believe that Serena was the mystery songwriter. His mouth was just wide open, unable to speak. The amazement was just too great. "You know I never would believe it's you. The band, including me has been lookiing all over for this mystery songwriter. To think she has been right under our nose. Who would of guessed? The band won't be able to believe it, ya know? They're gonna be just as suprised as I am. Of all the people, gosh, we never would know. Man, why didn't you tell us? We were dying to know, Sere", he babbled on. When Andrew got a good look at her; he saw how different she looked. One of the first things he noted was she wasn't wearing her clunky glasses. Instead, she had some contacts on that made her eyes a clearer, prettier blue. She wasn't wearing baggy jeans, and a huge sweatshirt. Instead she had a long-sleeved sky blue shirt. She wore blue jeans that actually fit her body. 'hmm, why is she looking different here than at school. Does she have more confidence her.' That was only half of the changes. She also wore a bit of makeup. On her lips she had some gloss on her lips, that make them a darker shade of red. What helped make her eyes even more pretty was the light grey eye shadow that was on her eyelids. When he looked closer, he saw her eye lashes were darker than normal, and were curled too. That could only mean she was wearing mascara. She looked like a whole new person. On her ears were some earring studs; he found out they were little stars. All these little changes made her look absolute gorgeous. Serena turned her attention to the young boy she was giving lessons to. "Kev, you've done enough practicing. You can head on home." "Okay, bye Serena." He fled out of the room and went home. "Serena", Andrew called out. All Serena could do was lift up her head and acknowledge him. "Go on", she mouthed. "I can't believe it's you", Andrew gushed. "Darien's going to be phyched." "Uh oh, was the first thing that registered in Serena's head. Andrew is part of the band. There's no way; I can let Darien find out. He would be devastated'. 'I just can't sing, the whole school would know it's me and I can't let that happen, people will start to judge me. I can't have that.' 'But if everybody did find out I would no longer be a nobody. People would expect more out of me. I'd get real hurt, and that's not going to happen. If I stay a nobody, nobody can hurt me'. 'Yeah, I can't let anybody find out. It would only lead to me being real hurt'. "Serena, we got to tell Darien. Let's go", he urged. He reached for her hand so he could drag her over to wherever Darien might be. As soon as Andrew reached for her hand ; she simply held back. It was the only thing she could do. She couldn't let Andrew drag her all the way over to let Darien find out. There was no way she was gonna let Darien know it was her. Even with all of Andrew's attempts at convincing; she wasn't going to let her be now known as "the girl that was Darien's mystery singer". Andrew only stared back at Serena with a blank stare on his face. 'What was with this girl'? Her e he spilled out how Darien was totally in love with this girl, and what does she do? She pulls back from his grasp. He just didn't get it. He was telling her that Darien was crazy about her. Now, he really did understand when his Dad always told him women were confusing, cause they really are! 'I swear, I'm already getting a headache. "Darien simply can't know. He's expecting somebody spectacular, which I'm not. He's expecting somebody gorgeous, talented, exotic, everything that I'm not. He wants somebody like Brittany spears, or Christina Agulera. He'd be so hurt when he found out that it was me. I can't do that; she explained with her eyes about to spill over with tears. "Serena, he asked in a low voice, is that the only thing holding you back"? "Why do you have such low doubts about yourself"? She looked him right in the eye and told him what she's never told anybody before. "Ya know, I'm always the kid that everybody ignores. I just get in the way, and I'm a nobody. People don't mind me being here, but I'm just a thing they have to live with. Until becoming Darien's friend , I haven't had a friend since the 8th grade. My 3 best friends they abandoned me to be friends with this girl that was the most popular, you know those kind of girls. From then on, I've been in a shell. It's funny Darien even noticed me. I've always had to do my work by myself, when everybody else had a partner. I wouldn't bring a lunch. Instead, I would just go to the library to study. When all the other girls had a partner for the dance, I didn't. I never would never get asked by boys to go to the dance. So, I changed my appearance at school, so I could say, "Well boys don't ask me cause I'm ugly". There ya have it Andrew, why I have such low self-esteem about myself. "Serena, you're not ugly. You really are beautiful, just look at ya. Guys would line up the block to go out with you if they saw you now". Plus, Darien's in love with girl we gotta tell him. You're that girl, the girl Darien is in love with. "Darien's not in love with me; he's in love with this girl that sang a song. That girl is who he is love He thinks he loves me but he doesn't. He thinks this girl is perfect in every way, which she is not. All, I am is a girl that wrote an okay song. That's not a reason for Darien to be in love with me. I can't act like I'm as great as Brittney Spears, and so on. "What made you get that crazy idea that Darien is expecting you to be as great as Christina Agulera. "I know he wants a diva like Brittany Spears, because we were walking around the baseball field, and he said playing for her would be like playing for Brittany Spears or Christina Agulera. You can't tell him", tears audible in her voice. "No, no", Andrew argued before Serena swiftly cut him off. "Andrew, you might not agree with me, but you have to promise not to tell Darien or another soul. You have to promise me", she pleaded. "I cant, he told her fiercly". "Here, I find out that the girl that has caused my best friend in the world missing nights of sleep because he has been dying to find out who this girl is. Everytime in band practice, he talks about her, worrying if he'll ever find out who she is. His mind always seems out of space, and when he finally does hear what Isay. All he can say is Oh, I was just thinking about "her". Sorry, Serena, but I have to tell him", he very loudly told her. "But Andrew, you can't , we can't let Darien find out", she whined in a loud voice. "What's the harm of it, Serena. You could be part of the band and you would be closer to him than ever. It works out for the best. Darien is going to find out soon enough anyway, let him find out now". "No way, Andrew. I'm an outsider and I don't want people to know it's me. I'm better off to be a nobody. Do you promise?" She sadly asked. When Andrew stared deep in her ocean blue eyes and saw how desperate she was. But, Darien, he couldn't help but consider. How could he not tell his best friend. He looked in Serena's eyes again, and knew he couldn't tell. It took all his will power to do what he was about to do. "All right", Andrew grabbed her hand, gave it a firm handshake, and mumbled, "no telling Darien." Serena could no longer keep her tears in, and ran out the studio, into the bathroom; her tears all over her face. She crept into the stall, and buried her face on the toilet seat. She just hugged the toilet seat, for that was the closest thing to a soft, cuddly, teddy bear. Luckily the toiled seat was down for she was feeling so low; she would probably just dunk her head in the toilet water. Tear kept on dropping from her eyes to the toilet. After what Serena thought was a good, long needed cry, she let herself out of the stall. Once she made it to the sink, she twisted the water knob on. She splashed some water on her face, and brought up her face to check out what she looked like in the mirror. All she saw was tousled hair, red rimmed eyes, and a tear streaked face. All in all it looked like a truck ran over her again. 'Gosh, what is happening to me? I'm all totally in love with this guy. I've never felt this way. It's kind a scary to be totally over heals in love with a guy', she truthfully told herself. 'But am I really in love with him. Sure, he darn good looking, and yeah he's been nice to me.' 'Is that all though? She had to do some deep soul searching. She thought deep down, and realized what made her fall in love with him. It was his gentle way. How, he was so gentle and kind. It was just the way he looked at her. Like the way he helped her make so many friends. She couldn't help but fall for him. The clock in the corner of the bathroom read 9:00 PM. 'Ooh, I better get my butt home.' With that she runs through the halls knocking down people, and muttering apologies. She runs in the parking lot and dodging cars, and seeing the car owners grumbling curses. She finally reaches her mom's car and speeds on home. Darien was strumming some chords, but was getting no where. 'Take a deep breath.' He breathed in and exhaled with an exasperated sigh.' New start, new beginning. Darien started up again. He kept on hitting the wrong chord. "Aw, crud", he groaned. "This really isn't working. What's the matter with me?" Darien knew exactly. 'Golly, ht thought. This songwriter that I don't know is driving me crazy. Why can't I find out who she is? I'm looking everywhere, the music room, listening for her voice, and asking every living person at school. Hmm... There's one person I haven't asked, and that's Serena.' 'Geez talking to her would make me feel better. How, she can always brighten my mood, I'm clueless. What am I feeling towards her? Is it just friendship? No, how bout admiration? Only one word came to mind, and that was love. How, can that be? He wondered. Darien shook his head back and forth to get rid of all of his thoughts. It just gave him a dizzy spill and a huge headache. Frustrated even more, Darien just headed to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, and slipped on some pajamas. He climbed in bed, and got some much-needed zzz's. Question number one: What are the causes of Acid Rain? Andrew was doing his science homework, but his mind was drifting far from science. 'He kept on thinking of his talk with Serena. Not to mention the way she ran out of the lesson area, and ran throughout the mall. Why won't she tell Darien? This was hard for him to keep a secret away from his best friend. Darien was obviously nuts about Serena and this mystery songwriter. No wonder it's Serena, it just fits the puzzle.' He definitely didn't like knowing that they wouldn't be able to tell who won the contest. ' Gee, here I know this secret, and I should be ecstatic. Am I? No, my best friend is dying to know who she is, and Serena just wants to stay a nobody.' He just placed his science homework on his desk, and went out for a little walk at 9:30 at night. 'Um... he was out the door and realized it was a little too dark, and scary. Hmm... the porch is as good as any late-night walk. Serena opened the front door, and lightly shut it closed. She stepped in and went down stairs to her room. She was stopped by her Mom. "Serena are you okay? You look like you just cried, and really tired." "Oh, my eyes just got watery. I guess I'm tired; I'll go hit the sack", and she went in her bedroom to go to bed. 'My poor little girl. She did cry, and it has to be over a guy. I knew this would happen someday.' "Hey Dar, wait up", Andrew called out. Andrew ran through the crowds of people in the hallway to catch up. Darien quickly turned around and faced Andrew. "Oh, Hey Andrew", Darien greeted nonchalantly. "What's bugging ya Dar?" Andrew asked out of breath. "I want to know who she is. This is driving me nuts. I'm doing everything in my power, but am having no success. Why can't I find her? Why won't she tell me who she is? Darien told him, a bit aggregated. "Well if we can't find her, I'll put an add in the school newspaper, Darien quietly said. "Dar, she probably doesn't want to be known", Darien informed. "You know her", Darien yelled. "Tell me who she is, I got to find her. You know her don't you?" Darien repeated. "I do know her", Andrew regrettably told him. "Tell me tell me. What grade is she in? Have I spoken to her? Is she as great as she sounds? Darien swamped Andrew with questions. Darien was yelling in Andrew's face and swinging his arms widely. "Now, Andrew, now. He was yelling in his face and Andrew did not particularly like that. "Out with it", Darien shouted again. Darien couldn't stop. Here, he was in the middle of the hallway, and yelling his lungs out. People were walking down the hallway and staring at him like he was a phycho. People were standing by and muttering to others nearby "what's with him"? Darien paid no attention he was about to get his answer from Andrew, who was that mystery songwriter? "Yes, she in our grade. You've spoken to her. I think she is as great as she sounds", Andrew answered as soon as people started to leave. "But she is a little shy, and unsure of herself. She doesn't think she is as hot, or as good as Brittany Spears, or Christina Agulera", Andrew hinted. "Did she say those exact words?" Darien squeaked out. Cause if she did, he was going to find her. "Yeah", he said uncertainly. "Thanks And, you're the best friend a guy could have". With that he gave him a hug that nearly squished Andrew to death.and dashed off to find 'her'. This was his dream come true. He was going to approach her, talk to her, and then he had no idea what to do next. It all depended on her reaction. 'Cause what if this scared her even more'? 'Well, he just had to take this risk. Serena was at her locker when Darien approached her. "Guess what Serena". "What", she asked. "We found the mystery songwriter, and she's great. "We're announcing her name tomorrow", he informed. As soon as Darien said those words, her face paled to a deathly white color. Well, she didn't want to show Darien, she knew he found out, so she tried to keep a straight face. 'Geez, how did he find out about this. He couldn't of found out, could he? Only one person knew, and that was...Andrew. Ooh, Andrew's is definately going to get it. When I see him tomorrow, he would of wished he kept what I though our SECRET! "Gotta run Dar, and with that she rushed 'Oh, I hope I didn't scare her too much. Well, I'll just have to find out. Tomorrow, she'll find out how I feel about her.' AN: Done with that chapter! I'm sorry for you people reading it. I've been real slow. With cross-country over with, I'll be done with chapters a lot quicker. A thanks goes to my best Friend Wendy! Thanks Wen! See ya next chapter.