Reflections on Moonlight (1/1) (Story) by Scylla Aeryn Montrose black_lady_andromeda@mailcity.com Rating: G Author's notes: Hi all. Um... I've been sitting about for a while debating whether or not to send this in. After reading some of the stories you guys have turned out, I feel a little inadequate, but I'll still try. My name is Scylla btw, and I think Darien and Serena are the only couple that are so sweet they could give you cavities (that's a good thing)! Anyway... These are some of Serena's thoughts on Tuxedo Mask and... Darien, once she realizes she has something of a crush on him. Feed back is desperately needed, to see wether or not I should keep writing. Thanks, ~* Scylla Aeryn Montrose Legal Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is not mine. (Wow! What a surprise!) ;-) Personal Disclaimer: I am a hopeless romantic. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. ~Reflections on Moonlight~ This is ridicules Utterly, *utterly* ridicules I, Serena, do NOT like Darien Chiba! Not at all, not an inkling! The only emotion I shall ever feel towards the man is loathing, the egotistical, annoying, majorly evil.... totally handsome, impossibly dreamy.... WAIT A SEC! HOLD ON! I look at myself in the mirror, looking at the stranger staring back out at me. Surely it was she, this un-Serena, who is thinking such things? Right? Kindly keep your thoughts out of my head! I order my reflection. Oh, boy. Send for the men in white coats... Serenas lost it! Over Darien.... I hear someone sigh dreamily. I look around for the source of the noise. Now who in the world would dare utter the name of my arch-enemy in *my* presence? Oh, opps! It was me.... or maybe it was my reflection. I eye the other meatball head suspiciously. Oh, great, now Im even using his name for me! Gr.... Its got to be hormones, thats it. Those pesky, evil hormones my mother blames all my slip-ups on. Hormones, its hormones. No its not whispers that small, serene voice that exists in the back of my mind. I stare at the mirror again, seeing past myself to the alarm clock sitting on my dresser, informing my that it is 1 am (backwards, of course, since it is a mirror). What am I doing up at this hour when I could be participating in one of my favorite organized activities.... sleeping?! I had that weird dream again, the one that wakes me up in the middle of the night with hot, salty tears streaming down my face that cant possibly be my own. The one that leaves me feeling like some one else. The one that leaves my soul withering inside me, begging to die, or be held, or be held as it is dying, Im really not sure which. So, after waking up from the nightmare that shakes my soul from its moorings, my mind has inevitably, and traitorously found its way to the second most disturbing thing in my life. Darien Chiba. I dare not risk listing all the things I hate about him for fear of beginning to recite the much *longer* list of things I like about him. I *do* hate him. Right....? Sure you do.... this time I said that, and I know it. No use trying to blame it on my reflection. (Man, I really *am* tired) I glance at Luna through the mirror, my little black kitty/guardian who, as of now, is curled up peacefully on the end of my bed, blissfully unaware of my suffering. And I am suffering too. Looking once more at my reflection, I speak in a low whisper; Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whos the klutziest of them all? I look expectantly for it to answer me. Why cant real life be as simple as fairy tales? Serena! Queen of the dorks! The dork poster child! I answer my own question. What could Darien Chiba ever see in me? Not that I care really... because I *dont* like him.... Oh, really? this time my traitorous lips spoke the words that came straight for that little voice. Every time I look at myself I feel something approaching pity. Ill never be beautiful... and Ill be permanently black and blue by the time Im twenty, with the way I keep tripping up. (and more so than usual when Darien is around the little voice murmurs.) It acts as if it is a close friend of mine, and we are sitting some where sharing an intimate secret about my crush.... (a crush I dont have, thank you very much!) I really hate the way I'm always tripping over myself. Its not as if I dont know how to walk, heaven knows Ive been doing it for the past fourteen years, though rather unsuccessfully these last few years. Its these legs! Theyve gotten so long all of the sudden! Though Raye assures me that long legs are a blessing, I cant possibly see how! I mean, there's so much of them now that I can never figure out where to put all their length! Enough, I order myself. *I* dont like Darien Chiba at all, and thats that. Okay, so maybe I do but... That will be just between you and me, I tell my reflection, the un-Serena staring out of the glass. Reaching my hand into my special drawer, I fumble (what else is new?) for a moment or two before finding the secret spring and depressing it. A smaller, concealed drawer pops open from what moments ago seemed to be just another stretch of flawless cherry vanity. Its my special drawer, where I keep all the secret little things Id never want anyone to see. Sparkling in the moonlight, laying amongst some pictures of past crushes and some jewelry, like its some ORDINARY treasure, is the golden star locket Tuxedo Mask gave me. Its beautiful I remember saying softly. He looked at me through his unreadable mask, and I wished I could see his eyes. Ive always been fascinated by peoples' eyes. Theyre windows to the soul... you can usually read them like a book if you can see their eyes. There are very few people whos eyes are so cold, or dark, or walled off that you can see nothing at all... like Darien, for instance... (FOCUS, Serena, FOCUS!!!) I remember glancing back down at the lovely locket. Who had given it to Tuxedo Mask, the handsome stranger who joined my friends and I on our moonlit battle against evil. (Gives a WHOLE new meaning to the term moonlighting). Keep then, hed said, his voice a mere whisper. He was crouched beside me, his face mere inches from mine. Really? Id asked. Of course, hed replied, smoothly. God, he is one of only two men on Earth who can make my bones turn into jelly. Id probably just lose it. And then he was gone, and Id only looked away but a moment. But for some reason, I didnt feel the terrible let down I usually did when he inevitably disappeared to... where ever it was he went. Hed given me a gift. A precious, beautiful gift. Cradling it gently in my hands I allow its sweet song to fill the room with beauty. Like my nightmares, the lockets song seems to take me elsewhere, make me someone else... some one close to me, but just slightly different, though I admit it is much less threatening than my dreams. Gently I place the golden treasure on my vanity and let it sing to me. Yes, sing to me, little jewel, tell me about your master, will you? Who is he? Why does he always come to my rescue? Why does he remind me of Darien Chiba!? UG! There is he again, cant the man stay out of my thoughts for more than five seconds??? Obviously not. Looking down at my little drawer, I imagine taking my... feelings for Darien out of my heart and placing them in my safe hiding place, where theyll never show, never escape, never make me blurt out something I dont want to say. In my empty hands I fancy holding those feelings. Theyre gold, of course, and shimmering all over with the millions of tiny diamonds worked so flawlessly into theyre exterior. Gently I move my empty hands to place those feelings in the drawer, where I know they wont stay. Theyll jump right back into me the moment I set them down. Useless, utterly, hopelessly useless. Suddenly, there is a sharp tug on the hem of my nightgown. So startled am I that I nearly topple over (in true Serena fashion) before looking down to see Luna, spitting out the material she had previously gripped in her mouth before informing me, rather tersely, that the scouts need me. Serena! They need you! Hurry up! Luna practically yells. No sooner has she said the words than I fill the room with the blinding light of my moon-crystal. The familiar feeling of displacement fills me as I transform into Sailor Moon. Champion of Justice! (What else?) Luna has already opened my window, urging me out into the uncertain night. I pause only a moment to secure Tuxedo Masks locket around my neck. For luck. I have a feeling Ill really need that luck. Then I follow Luna out the window, to help my friends in our fight against the Negaverse. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I see those glowing feels for Darien leap back into my heart. -- To the world you may be one person, but to the person you may be the world.