>Revised as a songfic< The Spawn of Satan or Thank God for Little Brothers Chapter 5: Lost In Your Eyes * * are for emphasis Thoughts are in these thingies ~ ~ AN are Authors Notes Standard Disclaimers Apply, so don't sue. (I'd be really upset if you did) Notes at the bottom, as usual (I LUV being able to say that. I've actually written enough to have things at the 'as usual' point. IT'S GREAT!!!) * * * * * I get lost in your eyes and I feel my spirits rise and soar like the wind . . . is it love that I am in? * * * * * He turned, moving slowly towards the door. With his hand on the knob, he paused, and by a supreme effort of will, managed to choke out, "Sayonara, Usako." Before he could fumble the door open and run from the room, warm arms encircled him, holding him tight from behind. Mamoru went very still, and heard a whispered "Don't go," from Usagi as she clutched at him. With hope rapidly rekindling in his heart, he turned in her embrace, bringing his hands up to her shoulders. She buried her face in his shirt, shaking, and he didn't need to feel the wetness on his skin to know that she was crying. Conscious of her wounded side, he held her gently, letting her cry. Pulling her closer, he breathed in the scent of her hair as he bent his neck to rest his head atop of hers. Gradually, her sobs eased off until she was quiet in his arms. Neither spoke, each fearing to break the silence that had come over them. Mamoru only wanted to go on holding her forever, and Usagi was afraid she had just made a complete fool of herself. Demo . . . she *had* heard him clearly when he'd called her Usako. It wasn't more teasing or her mind playing cruel tricks on her. He had feelings for her. ~Guess it's time to 'fess up~ she thought. Full of hope and no little amount of fear, she pulled away from Mamoru's comforting hold and gazed into his face. Mamoru felt Usagi shift and looked down at her right as she looked up at him. Their eyes met and held. Usagi meant to speak, really she did; she didn't know quite what to say yet, but she was determined to say *something*, until he turned those eyes on her. Midnight- hued, deep enough to drown in, and Usagi's mind blanked out. Mamoru was having the same problem. Her bright, crystalline-blue eyes had captured his soul, and he felt himself being drawn in, in and down, to be swallowed up by eyes still damp and sparkling with drying tears. He leaned in close, closer, and felt her stain upward to meet him, eyes half lidding as, hazily, his lips reached for hers. * * * * * I get weak in a glance Isn't this what's called romance? . . . and now I know 'cause when I'm lost I can't let go * * * * * The sharp rapping at the door had them springing apart like scalded cats. (AN: BWAHAHAHA!!! Not quite yet, my friends ^_~) Usagi brought a trembling hand to her head, trying to shake off the stupor the near kiss had left her in. She knew she must be blushing furiously. Glancing covertly, she hoped, at Mamoru, she was strangely satisfied to see he was just as red. The knock came again, followed by "Onee-chan, are you in there?" reminding Usagi why she and Mamoru were now on opposite sides of the room in the first place, instead of finishing what they had started. ~I'll have to kill Shingo later~ Usagi made a mental note before climbing back into bed and calling "Hai, come in." The door opened and Shingo hobbled in on his crutches. He eyed them both suspiciously. "What were you two doing in here?" "Nothing! Absolutely nothing," Usagi babbled, blushing even harder. She didn't dare even glance at Mamoru. "It's none of your business what I do in my room anyway, Brat." "Whatever, Usagi-baka," Shingo rolled his eyes at the ceiling. Finding out that she was Sailor Moon didn't change the fact that Usagi *was* his sister. He had more respect for her now, but figured it was better not to show too much of it, otherwise their parents might think that that little bump on the head he took last night had scrambled his brains or something. "Mom wants to know if Mamoru-san will stay for dinner," Shingo changed the subject, much to Usagi's relief. He didn't add, though, that it had been his idea. "Oh, well, I - I . . ." Mamoru stuttered helplessly, having no clue whatsoever to say. "Of course he'll stay," Usagi jumped at the chance to keep him there. She could tell he was getting ready to make tracks, and headed off his escape as quickly as possible. She wasn't done with him yet. "Besides, Papa said he wanted to 'meet the man who saved his precious son and darling daughter.'" She giggled at reciting her father's exact words. A pained statement crossed Mamoru's face, reminding Usagi that he blamed himself for her injury, and she wanted to smack herself. Then she wanted to smack him for thinking that way. Was she or was she not Sailor Moon? "Shingo, go tell Mama he's staying." * * * * * I don't mind not knowing what I'm headed for You can take me to the skies . . . It's like being lost in heaven when I'm lost in your eyes * * * * * When Shingo was gone, Usagi began, "You did save us, you know. If you hadn't been there . . . I don't know what would've happened." Mamoru's lips thinned and he grimaced before speaking. "I should have done more." "Mamoru-baka, you listen to me," Usagi was starting to get angry. "Just because I got hurt is no reason to blame yourself. So you're Tuxedo Kamen. SO WHAT?! If you'd have become Tuxedo Kamen last night, who's to say that things would have been any different? Something worse might have happened, did you think about that? It took all the Senshi to beat that youma. If you had fought it by yourself, you, and possibly me and Shingo as well, would probably be dead by now!" She was shouting at him now, the passionate words rolling off her tongue in a flood, not noticing that Mamoru's face had grown darker with each word she uttered. "But I should have protected you!" he finally exploded, startling Usagi out of her fury. "It's my duty to protect you," he said more quietly. "You and the Senshi are the only ones who have the power to fight the Dark Kingdom. You have to live to find the Princess and defeat the enemy. I realized some time ago that my reasons for trying to find the Princess and the Ginzuishou weren't the same as yours, but I do know we both want to protect them. I also know that you are more powerful than I am. You and the Senshi are the ones who can truly protect the Princess. I have to keep you alive so you can." "Oh," Usagi said in a small voice. "That's the only reason you've saved me before? So I'll be alive to protect the Princess if and when we find her?" "No, that's not - " began Mamoru. "I mean, yes, that's one of the reasons, but there's more. There's so much more," he whispered, staring at Usagi's bowed head. "More?" she peeked at him from under her lashes. Mamoru fixed his gaze on the carpet at his feet. "I know you probably hate me now - " "No, I - " Usagi interrupted. Mamoru raised a hand. "You're right. Gomen. I should know by now you're incapable of that particular emotion. Nevertheless," he lowered his hand, "you certainly can't trust me now, so I don't expect you to believe anything I say from this point on. But you deserve to know that the real reason I've helped you as I have is because," he took a deep breath, "I fell in love with you. At first I didn't understand what kept pulling me to you," he rushed to explain, not giving Usagi a chance to respond. "Whenever you became Sailor Moon, I felt it and knew I had to come help you as Tuxedo Kamen. When I teased you or you crashed into me on the street, I was happy to see you even though I didn't know why I felt that way. Then I realized that I loved you. Both of you. I fell in love with Sailor Moon for her courage and determination, and I fell in love with Tsukino Usagi for her love of life and her unshakable faith in people. I don't expect you to feel the same way," he clenched his fists, gaze still attached to the carpet, "but I had to let you know. I owe you honesty at the very least, though I haven't been very honest up 'till now, I admit." He sighed. Bracing himself, Mamoru chanced a look at Usagi. He was shocked at what he saw. * * * * * I just fell Don't know why Something's there we can't deny . . . and when I first knew was when I first looked at you * * * * * She was staring at him through the tears that coursed down her cheeks, magnificent blue eyes wide with what he thought might be hope and . . . delight? "You . . . love me?" she whispered breathily. "You're in love with me? All this time?" She sounded incredulous. Gripping the bedcover with trembling hands, she asked hesitantly, "Can . . . can one person be in love with what she thought were two different people?" A tremulous smile crept across her lips. "What do you mean?" Mamoru was confused. He didn't understand what he had said that had made her cry. Now she was smiling at him and asking the very same question he had asked himself countless times since he'd discovered his love for three separate girls. What he had thought were three separate girls. "I - I mean," she paused. Swallowing her tears, she scrubbed at her cheeks with both hands. The smile coming more naturally, Usagi continued, "What I mean is, can Tsukino Usagi be in love with Chiba Mamoru while Sailor Moon is in love with Tuxedo Kamen?" Mamoru's head felt light. He could swear that at that very moment, it was floating several inches above his neck. He couldn't seem to catch his breath. "You - you . . . what?" Mamoru was having trouble connecting two thoughts. "I said, I love you, too," Usagi said, smile widening at the state three little words had put him in. Mamoru raised a hand to his head. ~Yup, still there~ he thought. He moved to the bed and sat down, staring into Usagi's eyes the whole time. "Say that again," he demanded hoarsely. "I love you." Usagi grinned. She yelped as he made a sudden grab for her, sighed as she discovered being in his arms was even better than her best daydreams, and held him back. "You have no idea . . ." he murmured into her hair. "No idea about what?" "About how very much I've longed to hold you like this. To have you hold me back." He squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his embrace. "Only about as much as me, I'm sure," she stated. He chuckled. "I guess that's true." Usagi smiled gently, completely happy for the first time since she found out she was Sailor Moon. All of a sudden, she heard music. Mamoru heard it at the same time and they both glanced over at Usagi's bedside table, where, sitting in plain sight, was the star locket Tuxedo Kamen had given Sailor Moon. "This is -" Mamoru began, as he reached over and picked it up. "- what you gave me that time," Usagi finished for him. He was staring at it, and she placed her hand over the locket so they were both holding it. When he looked at her, she said, "Now I understand why you gave me something so important to you." They smiled at each other. * * * * * And if I can't find my way If salvation seems worlds away oh, I'll be found when I am lost in your eyes * * * * * Dinner passed uneventfully. Tsukino Kenji only grilled Mamoru a little. He was attempting to be polite to the man who, his wife told him, had saved their children, but it was hard to ignore the looks Mamoru and Usagi were exchanging over their plates. Every time he opened his mouth to say something about it, though, Ikuko would give him a discreet kick under the table, and steer the conversation in a new direction. ~Sometimes being married to one who knows you inside out has its drawbacks~ Kenji decided. After dinner, Usagi and Shingo were ordered to an early bedtime. Before he left, Mamoru magicked up one of his special thornless roses and presented it to Usagi with a flourish worthy of his alter ego. She giggled as she accepted it, lifting it immediately to her nose to inhale its sweet fragrance, Conscious of the audience attempting to remain hidden around the corner, Mamoru restrained his first impulse (AN: that is to say, taking Usagi in his arms and kissing her 'til they both saw spots, and her family be damned) and instead trailed gentle fingers across Usagi's cheek in farewell. While their gestures appeared, to those watching, placid, even benign, their eyes were speaking of things not even this fanfic writer would dare to note down. Promising to return tomorrow, Mamoru made it out the door without taking any action that might have cost him his life at the hands of Tsukino Kenji. Walking down the street, he found it difficult to come to terms with all that had happened in just the last two days. He was still having trouble with the fact that Usagi loved him. He'd never believed something so wonderful could happen to him. It was the one thing Mamoru could ever remember wanting, not just with his whole heart, but with his soul. The very essence of his being cried out in joy just thinking about it. Recalling again the moment when Usagi had said "I love you" to *him*! made Mamoru laugh aloud in sheer delight. He had never been so happy. * * * * * I don't mind not knowing what I'm headed for You can take me to the skies Oh it's like being lost in heaven When I'm lost in your eyes * * * * * "It's good you seem to be enjoying yourself, for that's the last laugh you'll ever have." Startled, Mamoru's head whipped left towards the source of the mocking voice, to find Zoisite hovering in the air not five feet away. "Now that we know who you and Sailor Moon are - " Zoisite paused dramatically, "Tuxedo Kamen, we of the Dark Kingdom can take care of you at our leisure." "You're not going to touch Sailor Moon!" Mamoru barked angrily, seeing no use in denial. He pulled out a rose and transformed on the spot. "How did you find out, Zoisite?" demanded Tuxedo Kamen. He laughed annoyingly. "Surely you noticed our last youma wasn't collecting energy? Its sole purpose was to discover the identities of yourself and the Senshi. It worked beyond all our expectations! Now I'll take those nijizuishou you possess. ZOI!" Zoisite attacked Tuxedo Kamen, which he fended off with his cane. Disengaging, he leaped away and launched a rose at Zoisite, who flickered out of its path only to reappear to Tuxedo Kamen's right. The rose struck the fence of a house on the other side of the street. Tuxedo Kamen cast a wild glance around the residential area, seeing unlimited potential for disaster in the quiet of the night. "Zoisite, stop!" he shouted. "If we fight here, someone may get hurt!" "That's the whole idea! ZOI!" Another blast flew past Tuxedo Kamen and knocked out a tree directly behind him. "You think I really care about the lives of pitiful little humans?"Zoisite's laughter was high-pitched and cruel. "Fine! You want the nijizuishou? Then follow me!" Tuxedo Kamen yelled. He took off across the rooftops with Zoisite in hot pursuit. * * * * * I get weak in a glance Isn't this what's called romance? Oh, I'll be found When I am lost in your eyes. * * * * * End Chapter 5 Applaud me, bow down and worship me, for I have accomplished the impossible. I have typed this chapter up in one night. (WOOHOO!! YEAH! WAY TO GO MAIYAV! YOU ROCK! YOU THE MAN, er, GIRL!!!) After reading some reeeaaalllyyy fantastic emails, how could I not go the extra mile? So everyone should also bow down and worship the ever sugoi Lady Spring, Grace McMoon, Crissy, Lelu, and anyone else who even thought nice things about my fic. (You can hate me personally, I don't care, but dump on my fic and I will track you down, where ever you might hide, and inflict serious torture - I'll disconnect you from the internet, then take my sledgehammer to your computer. Just thought I'd make that clear^_^) OK, OK, I'm kidding! But, really, who wants to be emailed only to be told so-and-so thinks your fic sucks, and who thought you had talent anyway, blah, blah, blah? If you don't like it, suggest, politely, a few ideas of your own that you think would make it better. Or better yet, write your own. That's what I did. No, I won't tell you whose fic I disliked. You think I have a death wish? This has never happened to me personally (and it better not happen ever) but it might save the insulter and the insultee a whole lot of grief. I can just imagine it. The start of WW III all because of a little email. If anyone's left, we can call it 'The Great E-mail War'. OK, I admit I am a sick and twisted individual. You trying to tell me you're not? What did I want to say? Oh. Right. I may have typed this up on Friday, but the earliest anyone's gonna see it is Tuesday. I beg God, the Devil, and my Mom time and again for the internet, but my pleas fall on deaf ears. Life can really suck sometimes. Now, how did my notes section get so long? And hardly anything pertains to the story!! I do tend to babble on so. Wait! I do have *one* thing to say that concerns the story: Was it mushy enough? I've been building up to this point for five chapters, I'd like to know if I fulfilled at least the minimum requirements on my readers' mush scales. That's all, except you might be interested in the fact that I'm working on a short story, which I will not give *anyone* a preview of, so I don't know when chapter 6 will be out. Fair warning. I've reached my goal of five chapters and won't commit to the next five till the short's done (which is actually turning out to be quite long for a supposedly 'short' story). 'If we shadows have offended, Think but this, (and all is mended,) That you have but slumber'd here, While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend; If you pardon, we will mend. And, as I am an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck, Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, We will make amends, ere long: Else the Puck a liar call. So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends.' ~Shakespeare, 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' Last Act, Last Scene, Last Lines. (It seemed to fit) MaiyaV ^_~ maiyav@yahoo.com Japanese Word Key: Sugoi - 'Wow'/'Great'/'Fantastic'/'Awesome'/etc. when used in a positive manner. 'Horrible'/'Terrible'/'Awful'/ etc. when used in a negative manner. (So far, only positive usage) Demo - 'But' ******************************************************************** Additional notes: I revised this chapter as a songfic to go with the songfic I have planned for Ch. 10. Sort of a halfway marker and an end marker. Of course, I have to find the &%$# song first, so . . . I got the idea after this chapter was posted, obviously. I thought it was a good idea, and the song *really* fits, so I hope you like it. It is "LOST IN YOUR EYES" by Debbie Gibson. YES! I admit to liking Debbie Gibson! I like '80's music period. But let's not get into that now.