Stumble
by Moon Klutz
lunap@lunap.com
www.lunap.com

Based on a song on the Due South Soundtrack (I know you guys probably
know who and what, I just can't find the case to my cds at the
moment...)
Er...it's a Mamo-fic.

Listen as the wind blows
from across the great divide
forces trapped in yearning
memories trapped in time

	My name is Chiba Mamoru.  
	That's what I keep telling myself at least.
	As far as I can tell, I was born on August 3rd, 1974.  I love roses
and tuxedo's, I love masquerade balls, crystals and gems.  Especially
crystals and gems.  I live alone in a spacious, if sparse, appartment
in the Azabu district of Jubaan, near tenth street.  My dreams are
haunted by ghost figures, women in masks, and a voice repeating over
and over the words that haunt me.
	The Illusion Silver Crystal.  
	I have to find it, to recover my past.  A magical stone with awesome
powers, and a princess to keep hold of it.
	In my dreams they call me Endymion.  It's strange, familiar, and
wrong.


The night is my companion
the solitude my guide
would I spend forever here
and not be satisfied

	By day, I am still Chiba Mamoru, studius college student at Azabu
Tech, honor roll, straight A's.  I love to study physics.  It's
logical.  I think in terms of straight lines, what is possible, not
what is plausible.  I am an oxymoron.  My best friend, Furuhata Motoki
works at the Crown Fruit Parlor and Arcade on tenth.  I go there for
coffee everyday after school, and to play the crane game.
	By night before the dreams take me, I am Tuxedo Kamen, the mysterious
man in a cape and tuxedo, a mask covers my eyes.  I fight the enemy,
and protect the Senshi and their leader.  I am forever lost in myself.
	My weapon is a red rose, the symbol of love.  Sometimes I hate it, for
being exactly what I don't have, and sometimes I cherish it, for even
being close to it at all.
	I can fly, I can leap over rooftops, balance on a lamp post and recite
haiku from memory for every and any situation.  
	Any, except one.

And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard,
I'll take your breath away

	Tsukino Usagi, 8th Grade.
	The words are entwined with the fabric, they drag my eyes from my
work.  
	Tsukino Usagi, 8th Grade.
	I met her on the sidewalk in front of the Crown Center.  She tossed a
bad test over her head, I teased her.  She was furious.  I called her
Odango Atama, laughed, and left.
	I love her.
	Tsukino Usagi however, could care less about me.  I am the scourge of
her days, and little does she know it, her companion in the night.
	Tsukino Usagi, Sailor Moon, leader of the Senshi.
	Sometimes I hate myself.

And after I
wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear

	She dreams too, you know.
	I have sat by her window in the night, in the trees, in shadow,
watching often enough to know.
	Her dreams are as tortured as mine, filled with nightmares and
memories she can not account for.  The difference is, I remember mine,
and for the most part, she does not.  But in the night, after the
battle when her friends are gone, she cries.  She cries for everything
she has ever known, what she will never know, and what others have
known before her.  Though by day she is happy, in the dark, she is
herself, hidden from their view.
	I understand her you know.
	I just wish she knew it too.

Through this world I stumbled
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word to find
the truth enslaved

	My days before this were spent in a large building full of other
children, just outside of Tokyo.  
	None of them were like me.
	I spent my days quiet, sitting on the window ledge, watching.  I
watched and listened and learned everything I could about them.  
	They didn't have a clue.
	The world around me was all lies and smiles, and the people were bad. 
Children came and went from the Orphanage, but I stayed.  I stayed and
I tended the roses, and I walked along the roof at night.  They hated
it when I did that.  All I really wanted was one or two words of truth,
and someone who understood, but it was like the people around me were
figmints of my imagination.
	None of them seemed to understand a word I said, so I said none.

Oh, you speak to me in riddles and
you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive...

	But one day, that day, one specific day in 1992, I met an angel.  
	Tsukino Usagi, 8th Grade.
	She didn't know what she was saying either, and my words seemed a blur
to me, but her eyes spoke more truth in one instant, than I have ever
seen in my entire life.  She was happy, and had a smile for everyone,
and she understood.
	Her words still make no sense, but it's her eyes I'm entranced with. 
Her whole being is a question, and the answer is somewhere in my
dreams.  Everyday I live a little more, see a little more in her eyes,
and for now, I think that's enough.

And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard,
I'll take your breath away

	But at night, after the dreams, after the battles, I lay awake and
stare at my ceiling.
	It's not enough then, when I'm alone in the dark, and somewhere across
town, she's crying out in her sleep, unknowing, reliving memories she
shouldn't have to have.
	I should know, I've seen them.
	But at night... I dream a little, give a little, and want a little
more than I have.  Tsukino Usagi, 8th Grade, has me entranced and
thinking things I've never thought before.
	My thoughts are no longer straight logical lines.
	They curve in every direction, and always lead back to her.

And after I,
wipe away the tears,
just close your eyes, dear...

	There are times at night when that cat of hers isn't there, watching
me.  Sometimes I slip in the window.  She leaves it open, silly Odango
that she is.  Maybe she just wants to be closer to the moon and the
stars.  I've never been sure really.  
	Through her window I creep, and I kneel beside the bed, Tsukino Usagi
cries out in her sleep.
	So I brush some hair from her face, wipe the tears clean away.  Then
she smiles and dreams quietly, and I leave for the night.

Into this night I wander
this morning that I dread
another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread

	When the night is over though, it's back to Odango and Mamoru-baka.  I
hate mornings, they're always the same now.  If I could, if I would, I
would change them.  I would bump into her in the morning, applogize and
leave her flustered.  I would see her on the way back from school in
the afternoon at crown, and I would buy her a sundae for every mean
thing I have ever said, and I would watch her play Sailor V for hours
on end.  
	But I can't.

Oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
this nothing stands between us here
and I won't be denied

	In my dreams the princess calls me, and I am hers for a few hours. 
But during the rest of the day and the night, my heart belongs to
Tsukino Usagi, 8th Grade.  In the night after my dreams, I dream of
Usagi, and everything is right again.  In my dreams I can do what I
never would when awake, because I know...I can't.

And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard,
I'll take your breath away

	But one day, I will.

And after I
wipe away the tears
just close your eyes