Someone Worth Living For By: Eternal Angel I wonder if There is someone out there Waiting for me Searching for me And only me - Eternal Angel I wonder why they can't see through my act. To see the real me that's hiding inside. The real me that wants to burst out and tell everyone that I'm not who they think I am. Some people think they know me well, but how fake that is. They don't even know anything about me. They might know facts, but they don't know me. I'm just a girl trying to play it safe in this world. I want to survive, but what's to survive for? No one really cares. Life is just one big charade. I only wish I could win once. I use to think that life was worth living for. But what's to live for? I don't know... Maybe my future... But what if it is filled with unhappiness? Is it still worth living for? My friends? The people that should know me but don't. My love? Love? Ha, love... Something I don't have. I have a past that I wish I don't have. A life that I hate. Friendships that aren't even friendship. And a life of little hope. That's me alright. I just wish that there was someone out there to convince me that I was wrong about everything I just said. That there is someone actually out there, waiting for me... at least that would have made like a little worth living for... * * * * * * * I survived another day of my life. Yet it saddens me to know that no one really does care about me. Foolish as that might seem. My friends, they always pick at all my mistakes, and never look at my achievement. I defeated a youma, by myself, and was late for the meeting, and before I could say anything, Raye just trashed me, then the rest of the scouts agreed. And you know what made it worse? When I did tell them the truth, they accused me of lying!! Out of all things, they said that I was just saying that. That really hurt. They really don't care for me. I bet we wouldn't be friends if we weren't scouts. Yes, and then I would have to put up with all this hurt they are throwing at me. And soon after that, my mother yelled at me for being late for dinner, which I didn't want to be, but the scouts had spent all the time yelling and complaining about me. And then my father gave me some lecture, which I forgot what is that all about cause I was sick of everything. And then Shingo... I just hate my life. But most of all, I hate myself! I hate myself more than I hate the negiverse, the people that have hurt me. You know why? It is because I hate myself for putting up with them like this. I want to leave. To leave everyone that hurt me. I do so much. Maybe... that's what I should do... * * * * * * * I look at the ocean. It's beautiful. The shinning sea with the high bright moon in the dark sky up above me. Everything was beautiful. How I wanted it too be, but if only I didn't have to leave... But I wanted to. I didn't want to stay where I was not wanted... Where I was not loved. Yet apart of me still didn't want to leave. To leave my family whom I loved... To leave my friends whom I respected... even if they didn't respect me. But then, if I do stay, what... who will I stay here for? No... one... No one.... "What are you doing here so dark? Don't you know it is dangerous here at night?" A voice asked me. A shiver went up my spine. I turned around to see the person that I least wanted to see. Mamoru. "Usagi, answer me. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at home? It's really dangerous out here. With kidnappers, thieves, youmas, rape..." He said, as he stood next to her. "I can take care of myself." I told him coldly. I then turned my head, not looking at him face to face, but enough to let him know that all my attention was on him. "Why should you care anyways? No one else does, so why should you?" "Usagi... what do you mean?" He asked. "I mean that no one cares. No one." I replied back with a sad laugh. "They don't care at all. They don't want to, and they would never want to. So what's the use? If they never will. "I heard about your parents dying when you were small. First I pitied you... now I envy you. You know why? Because now you don't have people to let you down. You don't have people that say they are your friend, and things like that, but end up hurting you over and over. "I know what you are going to say, that it isn't like what I say. Maybe it isn't, but I know that it hurts. You know how alone I am? I think you do. But to pretend that you aren't when you really are. To lie to yourself. You didn't have to do that did you? It is really painful. "Especially when you are stuck on doing things that you don't want to do. To be forced into it. I hate that. I hate it so much just as I hate myself for doing it anyways. Do you understand what I'm saying Mamoru-san? I am not that happy girl that you know. I never was. Everything was always an act in my life, and for once, I would like to be me." "Then why don't you?" Mamoru then questioned. "Because I can't. As long as I stay here, I can't." I answered, tears started to stream down my face as she tried to fight it off un-succedingly. I wanted to scream out for everyone to leave me alone!! "Why?" "What's here to keep me here?" I then said, looking up at him fully this time. "Me." He said, and then, he grabbed me gently, and gave me a kiss. A felt my heart melt in his embraced, as the kiss deepened. I moaned lightly, and wrapped my arms around him and kissed him with so much longing and love that had been boiling inside until will parted, gasping for air. "So, want me to escort you home?" He asked me, as he took my arm. I shook my head no. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to go back. I didn't. "Why not?" "I don't want to go back. Why should I go back to a place where no one cares?" "I care." "And only you." "Aren't I enough?" He asked, his dark blue eyes looking at me sweetly. I started to melt only more. God, he was so cute... so right... It felt good to be in his arms. "Okkaayy... But can we go later on? I want to watch the sunrise." I said, going deeper into his embrace. I heard him sigh lightly and then agree with me as the two of use watched the beautiful sun rise telling us it was a new day in each other's arms. Now I had someone worth living for. END Okay... Now that was sappy... why didn't I have her run away for good at the end? Darn! I should have done that!! DISCLAIMER: Standard... I always wondered what Standard ever had to do with me not owning Sailor Moon?