Hiyee! It's meeh again! I know all of you are getting sick and tired of me but oh well! It's meeh JLaLa presenting you, my esteem readers with the seventh part of my story! First of all my apologies on all the people who scolded me for making them cry! Gomen nasai! *JLaLa bows repeatedly* I didn't mean too! Alrighty then, To Violet Ice and Twilight who have been with meeh since the beginning, thank you very, very much! To Meriellen5 who helps me and supports meeh like any sister would do, props to you girl! To all the people who wrote meeh, a big hug and kiss to you from me. Your everlasting support to me pushes me to keep on doing my thang! Love to all of you! I have a mailing list now! YEA! If you wanna join e-mail meeh and I'll give you an invatation! It's just to inform you on all my updates and where you can find my fics! Also if you wanna recommend a fic to anyone on the list or tell everyone bout yours then go ahead! I don't own SailorMoon, that for you to know. < >=thinking PG-13= Kids GET OUT! Juss playin! "Where there is love there is life." -Mahatma Gandhi "Love has no limits and no regrets." -Writer Unknown "Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love." -Kahlil Gibran Here's the little part I like to call the "Tears In Heaven" Soundtrack. If you have any of the songs I put in each chapter then listen to them: Tears In Heaven Sung by Eric Clapton Look at Me Sung by Geri Halliwell Last Dance Sung by Allure Wind Beneath My Wings Sung by Bette Midler How do I say goodbye to what we had? The good times that made us laugh Outweigh the bad. I thought we'd get to see forever But forever's gone away It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. I don't know where this road Is going to lead. All I know is where we've been And what we've been through. If we get to see tomorrow I hope it's worth all the wait It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. And I'll take with me the memories To be my sunshine after the rain It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. And I'll take with me the memories To be my sunshine after the rain It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Sung by Boyz II Men TEARS IN HEAVEN (Part Seven) BY: JLALA (jlynpinay@aol.com) Sitting in the booth Minako checked her watch to see how late everyone else was. It was weird, you know. Actually being early. Well but things change, a lot can change over a year. Since Motoki's death a shadow had fallen over Usagi, she was no longer the same girl who had eaten sundaes and played video games. Outside she was as beautiful as ever, her eyes were still the luminous blue they always were but the happy spark was gone, replace with a bittersweet melancholy that made her look that she would burst into tears at any time. Her hair was still long and a shiny sapphron but she no longer wore her odangos. They were a sign of her innocence and childhood. That was gone now. Her loveliness was at a natural high but she never noticed nor cared. It just didn't matter anymore, Motoki was gone. Minako wiped the solitary tear that had fallen from her face. How she missed the old Usagi, the one laughed and smiled. When Usagi smiled it seemed so forced now. She wished that somehow her friend would come out of her depression. Minako did not blame her for feeling down sometimes, since last year Usagi had more than her share of problems. She had been kicked out of college because of her grades. Usagi had lost her apartment, the one she had worked her butt off for. She just couldn't pay the rent since she lost her job. Usagi had cried the day she moved out, another lost on her part. They were there for her though, her friend and family.And Mamoru... When she had been kicked out of college, he went to the dean and begged her to keep Usagi's place in the university, he had promise that by next year she would have grades up. He would tutor her. The dean agreed feeling sympathy for Usagi hearing of the events that had taken place. When she lost her apartment Mamoru moved everything she had to her parents' house all by himself. When she lost her job he immediately began to look for any available jobs for her. His intentions looked brotherly but sometimes Minako would see him gazing at Usagi with such utter devotion that it was to her undeniably love. The others saw glimpses of it too and agreed. None of them had any problems with it but Usagi was loyal to Motoki even in death. She kept his picture on her dresser and everyday would visit his grave. Usagi didn't tell anyone but Rei had saw her last week at the cemetary and she admitted that she still visited him. They didn't know what to do anymore. A tap on her shoulder made Minako turn to see Rei, Ami, and Makoto. "Hey you guys", Minako greeted them and they squeezed into the booth. "You looked kinda distracted, anything wrong?" Makoto asked worriedly. "Just thinking of Usagi again", she responded. "It's been a year and she's not getting any better" Her eyes glimmered with worried tears. "We've got to do something" Everyone nodded and tried to not let out the tears that burned their eyelids. They wanted so badly to have to have the old Usa back, even if it was for just a moment. ********************************************************************** Usagi laid in bed; it was only in the late afternoon but her nights were sleepless. Full of dreams of Motoki. Everyone of them ended up with her waking and not finding him in her arms. She ached just to hold him. Getting up she went to dresser and held his portrait. She was so happy back then, what happened? In her head the thoughts whirled around in little hurricanes makng her feel lost, confused. Tears fell from her eyes. Where was her life going? A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and Ikuko Tsukino walked in. Her mom gazed at her with such love and care. "Hey baby", Ikuko said gently and they both sat on her bed. She saw the weariness in Usagi's eyes. Kenji and her had often heard their daughter crying to herself at night. They thought it would fade but it didn't. "You okay? You look so tired." "I'm fine mama", she answered and gave her a soft smile. It was a lie and her mother knew it. Ikuko gathered her daughter in her arms. "Usagi, I want you to go on. I cannot stand to see you so sad or to hear you cry in your room at night." Tears fell from her eyes. "It hurts to see you like this, please try to go on. Don't give up on life, there's still hope. This is all I ask of you. You have to realize, Motoki's gone." Usagi was crying fully now, she hated to make everyone worry but she couldn't help it. "I'm trying, I'm trying so hard", she said and hugged her mom. "But now I'll try even harder for you" *********************************************************************** Mamoru walked into the small clothing store that Usagi worked in. Seeing her petite figure behind the counter, he waved to her. As she walked to him he frowned at how thin she had gotten. Her skin was pale and dark circles were around her eyes. Usagi must have been working hard since it was her first job since she was fired. She looked beat. "Hey Usako", he said calling her by his petname for her. The two had developed a sort of kinship. But to everyone else except for Usagi it was obvious that he had fallen in love. He never mentioned it, there was a thin line between love and loyalty. "Mamo-chan, what are you doing here?" She gave him a soft smile and he felt his heart pounding out of his chest. Her smile even if it was small was immaculate. Usagi looked weak though. "I wanted to take to lunch...Usako are you alright?" In her head the room was spinning. She couldn't walk. Suddenly she stumbled to the ground and Mamoru rushed to her. "What's wrong?" "I-I-I don't know", she cried. "Something's wrong with me! I'm just so dizzy." She shook her head. "Don't worry I'll be alright." "No, I'm taking you to a doctor", Mamoru argued. "But I'm fine", she said indignantly. "We're going and we're going NOW" Without another word Mamoru took Usagi into his arms. "Well...okay", she agreed and then closed her eyes falling into a faint. ************************************************************************ Waking up in a hospital bed was something Usagi didn't expect. Opening her heavy eyelids she looked around. The room was empty and it was already nighttime. Goodness grief when did she get herself into this mess, she heard the door open and Ami entered the room. Her turquoise eyes were filled with worry for Usagi. "I'm so glad you're okay", Ami said after a moment of silence. "The doctor said that you're suffering from exhaustion, he said that you were dehydrated and that he thinks you haven't been eating well" She took her friend's hand. "What's going on?" "What do you mean?", Usagi asked and sat up. "You're tired all the time, you hardly go out anymore and now you're in the hospital", Ami explained. "Usagi, I understand that you're still sad about Motoki but getting yourself sick is not the answer, it won't help ease any of your pain. The others are worried; your family is worried, Mamoru is worried, I'm worried. Motoki is gone, Usagi" Ami didn't mean to say these things but she was scared, Usagi was hanging by a thread. Their eyes met and Usagi's eyes were filled with tears She immediately regretted everything she said. "I know he's gone Ami", she said in a hush voice. "I of all people know that." ************************************************************************ She ran through the woods pushing the branches and leaves the hit her face. As she got to her destination, Usagi sat on the ground. Tears stained her face. "Motoki, where are you?" She asked. "You said you'd be here." She began to cry, she missed him more than ever and every day without him was like a stab to the heart. Usagi felt a warm hand on her shoulder and she turned to see Mamoru. He gave her a comforting smile. "What are you doing here?" "Something told me that I should come here", he answered. "What's wrong?" She stood up and began to pace wildly. "Everyone keeps telling the Motoki's gone!" She sobbed. "BUT HE'S NOT GONE! HE'S RIGHT HERE!" She put her hand to her heart. Usagi looked into Mamoru's eyes. "I can't forget him. I forget him, I lose him." Mamoru touched her smooth face and wiped her tears. "Just because he's gone, it doesn't mean you have to stop living. You won't forget him Usako, he's in your heart. You never lose the people you love." He said in a caring voice. "There's still a life for you out there." "How do you stop the pain?" She asked in a broken voice. They sat down and he put an arm around her. "You don't. But you don't welcome it. I loved Motoki as much as you did. I know he wouldn't want you to be like this. Have fun for once." "Fun?" She asked and raised you eyebrows. "Like what?" "Well we can't go fishing, I teach how to get a real fish instead of a tadpole like last time", he said with a comical face. "It was NOT a tadpole!"she argued and punched him on the arm. "Okay more like a sardine!" He said and jumped when she prepared to strangle him. "Come here so I can kick your butt!", Usagi yelled and a huge grin spread on her face. Mamoru was bedazzled; it had been awhile since he had seen her smile. "I surrender!"Mamoru said finally and then held out his hand. "Congratulations you just had fun." She shook his hand and grinned. ********************************************************************** "That over there is the Big Dipper" Mamoru pointed into the dark night sky as he and Usagi laid on the ground. She look so beautiful, her hair was spread out on the ground like a fan and her sweet scent lingering the air. A bonfire blazed near them warming their toes. "I've forgotten how beautiful the sky was or how beautiful life was. I took everything granted, Motoki would be so ashamed of me", Usagi said sadly and turned to look at him. "No he wouldn't, he'd understand why you were so sad but he wouldn't want you to suffer, Motoki always put your happiness before his" "I know",she answered and suddenly Usagi noticed how handsome Mamoru was. How his hair fell over his eyes or when he smiled at her his face lit up. She shook her head. "Mamo-chan, don't ever leave me." "Never", he promised and took her hand. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Forgiveness please! *JLaLa dodges the tomato thrown at her* I know this was a horrible chapter but I'm trying to get better! Anyways you get just e-mail meeh and yell at me privately! Bye!