A Very Tuxedo Kamen Birthday
By Moon Klutz and W. Bymeeh
lunap@lunap.com and Jhyunl@aol.com
rat:g/pg
Part 1/?

     The paper was small, folder into a square by quarters, and had 
already acquired a few thin creases along those folds.  The writing was 
slightly smudged where a small hand had brushed the ink as it was 
written, and the name scrawled across the bottom was followed by a small 
caricature of a bunny.     It was Tsukino Usagi's birthday wish list.
     It was the one thing she wanted.     Tuxedo Kamen.
     Mamoru reached into his pocket, clasped the small paper in his 
hand for reassurance, then continued as if nothing had happened.  He was 
walking home on a completely normal day, he told himself.  Except one 
thing that kept tugging at the back of his mind.  
     'Tsukino Usagi *likes* me!' one part of his brain cheered 
ecstatically.  Trying valiantly to shush that part of his mind, Mamoru counted 
cracks in the sidewalk while the corner of his mind sang proudly. 'She 
likes me, she likes me, she likes m-' 
     'Would you be quiet already?' Mamoru snapped. 'She doesn't like 
you, she likes Tuxedo Kamen, and contrary to popular belief, Tuxedo Kamen 
isn't me, he's just a part of me!'  
     His brain sighed. 'Mamoru, you just don't get it, do you?  If she 
has a thing for Cape-boy over there,' he nodded vaguely at a part of 
Mamoru's mind that was preening at the thought of how wonderful his suit 
fit, and how beautifully his roses had turned out that year, 'Then that 
means that somewhere inside, she's attracted to you!  Do you get that?' 
     Mamoru paused in his walk.  'Attracted?'
     'As in...YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO BUILD ON!'     'Oh.  Well then.'
     Mamoru proceeded to skip home with a large grin on his face, 
ignoring the strange looks people gave him as he went.
     Mamoru was still smiling as he unlocked the door to his apartment, 
random happy thoughts drifting through his mind as he opened it...and 
then he walked into darkness.  He didn't automatically reach for the 
light switch; he closed the door behind him and leaned against it, gazing 
around his dark apartment.
     He couldn't help but notice how empty it was; the shadowy shapes 
of his lifeless furniture, the spaciousness of the area, without a 
single object out of place, so orderly...it looked unlived in.  It was so 
empty...so dark...so unalive...so unlike *her*.  
     And as he stood there, thinking, a treacherous idea crept into his 
mind...and maybe it was because he was still carefully holding a small 
folded piece of paper in his hands as if it was the greatest treasure 
on earth...  
     'Wouldn't it be nice if *she* was here?  Everyday, waiting for 
you, to smile that beautiful smile and look at you with those beautiful 
blue eyes?' The very *idea* of him and her together seemed to have spread 
from the wrinkled piece of paper, and planted itself in his mind, and 
it refused to let go.
     'Wouldn't it be wonderful if she was here, a part of your life?  
And you wouldn't have to come home to an empty apartment...and you could 
hear her laughter when you walk in the door, and even *that* would make 
your heart beat a little faster...
     'And at night...you wouldn't have to sleep *alone*...'         *blush*  
     Mamoru immediately snapped at his wayward mind, 'It's a little 
early for that!'       'Just checking to make sure you were paying attention.' 
     Mamoru sighed.  
     'Anyway, now that we've agreed on how much better your (sad) life 
would be *with* her in it...what are you going to do next?'       ...  
     ...       *sigh*   
     'I shouldn't be surprised that you haven't an ounce of creativity 
in your body.  I mean, jeez, you wear the *same* exact [ugly] green 
jacket *every* time you go out...' 
     'I happen to like that jacket,' Mamoru retorted.  'In fact, I---'
     'Never mind,' his mind said.  'I see that this is going to be 
difficult.  I'll break this into easy steps for you.    
     'Usagi's birthday is coming up.  You like Usagi.  You *want* to 
get her a present.  She says she wants Tuxedo Kamen for her birthday.  
So...what are you going to give her?'     Mamoru was silent for a moment.
     'A stuffed bunny rabbit?'  
     Mamoru's inner voice fell backwards and hit its forehead before 
smacking Mamoru himself around.
     'You IDIOT!  Ugh, you're such a typical guy!'
     'Hey!  I'll have you know that you wouldn't have a body if it 
weren't for me!'     Sigh.
     'Let's try this again Mamoru.  Usagi wants Tuxedo Kamen.  What are 
you going to get her?' the voice asked very slowly.  
     Mamoru pulled the list out of his pocket and smoothed out some of 
the creases that were forming, following the smooth arcs and swoops in 
the slightly messy kanji with his pinky finger, following the letters 
up and down.
     '…Tuxedo Kamen?  How can I deliver that?' he wondered.  The voice 
in his head sighed in relief.
     'We're finally getting somewhere…' it muttered.  'First of all 
Mamoru-baka-'     'Hey!  Only Usagi's allowed to call me that!'
     'Fine.  Ahem.  First of all *Chiba*, you won't really have to.  
For the next seven days before her birthday, you are going to become the 
most charming, romantic, funny, sweet, caring lovable and huggable 
Mamoru I can possibly make you.  Personally, I don't think you have 
clearance to hear the rest of the plan yet.'     'Clearance?  It's my brain!'
     'So?  I know more about you than you do!'
     Mamoru gave in.  'Fine.' He grumbled, 'Do your stuff magic voice 
in my head.'
     The voice nearly crowed with happiness, this could be one fun day.
     'First of all…listen to what she says.  For several months now 
you've just sat there and let your mouth talk unbidden while you gawked.  
She's said important things, and you were too busy drooling to notice!'
     Mamoru blinked, then whistled and stared off into an empty dark 
corner of his room.  It occurred to him vaguely in some corner of his 
mind that if someone were to see him, he would look very foolish staring 
at nothing, standing silently in the middle of a very dark apartment.
     'Like?'     'She hates that green jacket as much as I do.'
     'I like the jacket!' Mamoru thought defensively.
     'But she doesn't!  Anything for the girl, riiiiight?'     '-_-;'
     'You know so.  Grab your wallet, we're going shopping!'
     Mamoru sighed.  You know you have problems when you seek advice 
from some part of your brain with a mind of it's own that wants to spend 
all of your money.  He had a feeling this was going to be one heck of a 
day to remember.***
     'Okay, Chiba.  Time to transform into Tuxedo Kamen,' the voice 
said as Mamoru walked through the entrance into the crowded shopping center.  
     Mamoru was instantly alert, casting a wary look around.  'What?  
Is there danger somewhere?  I didn't feel Sailor Moon transform.  What's wro---'
     'Baka, baka, baka!'  Mamoru could feel little vibrations where the 
voice seemed to be hitting itself on the head...whatever head it had.  
'Don't you remember what she said?  It was just an *hour* ago!' 
     'I remember everything Odango said,' Mamoru grumbled.  He glanced 
around, repressing a shudder as he noted the masses of people scurrying 
around in a noisy muddle, wishing he was another world away.  
     'Sure, Chiba...when you're not staring at those big, blue eyes of 
hers or that long, shiny gold hair, or---'
     'Those adorably sweet lips that look like they could use a 
kiss...' Mamoru thought dreamily, stopping in the middle of his aisle.  'Or 
that really soft skin, or those really long legs---'  
     'You have a one-track mind.'     'I'm male.  It's inevitable.'  
     The aggravated voice said, 'Getting back to the topic.  What did 
she say?'  
     Mamoru weaved in and out of the crowd with an absentminded look on 
his face, occasionally stopping to glance at the glass display cases.  
Pausing in front of a jewelry store, he reflected, 'She said anything 
Tuxedo Kamen would make her happy.'  
     The voice relaxed.  'Very good.  Look, Chiba, she wants Tuxedo 
Kamen, but you can *be* Tuxedo Kamen...without really transforming into 
Tuxedo Kamen.'
     Mamoru frowned as he leaned over, scanning the sparkling gems and 
trying to picture the expression on Odango's face if he gave one of 
them to her for her birthday.  'I don't follow you.' 
     'She wants Tuxedo Kamen because he's romantic, mysterious, 
handsome---' Mamoru checked his reflection in the display case '---and you 
*are* all that when you have that mask on.  I don't know how you come up 
with that poetic *junk*, but since half the female population of Juuban 
seems to like it---'      'I thought it was two-thirds,' Mamoru interrupted.
     'Whatever.  But the thing is, you don't switch heads when you wear 
that mask, now do you?  Of course you don't.  Now all you need to do is 
be Tuxedo Kamen *without* that mask.  Be yourself for her birthday.  
But be romantic, fun, charming and sweet---everything you're not when 
you're around *her*.  And you'll still be giving Usagi what she wants for 
her birthday - Tuxedo Kamen.'        
     With a feeling somewhat like surrender, Mamoru left the jewelry 
store and sighed.  Romantic, mysterious, suave...it was a part of him, 
but it was so easy when he wore a mask.  How could he transform into 
Tuxedo Kamen...and still be Mamoru?
     He sighed deeply, and glanced around the milling people in the 
shopping center.  He mentally checked his wallet.  It looked like Odango 
wasn't going to be the only one getting something new for her birthday.      
     And so Mamoru went to the toy store and bought a dozen Beanie 
Babies, the latest Pokemon game (he had a soft spot for Pikachu) and a box 
of Legos.   
     'Well, at least you've picked up on *something* about the girl, 
but who are the Legos for?' the voice asked.  Mamoru smiled slightly to 
himself as he paid for the toys and the woman on staff bagged them up.
     'Me.  I like Legos.' 
     Travelling around the mall, Mamoru also picked up several 
rabbit-themed items, Sailor V paraphernalia and several manga.  Sometime later, 
his arms were buried underneath several boxes and bags.  Maybe that was 
why it happened, maybe Mamoru couldn't see over the bags and boxes.  
Maybe he was concentrating so hard on balancing his packages that he 
never noticed until it was too late, or maybe, (and personally, I think 
I'll mention that the voice had a firm belief in this last one) he had 
just run into her on purpose, subconsciously or consciously is up to you.
     "Move, move, move Usagi, you've got places to be an-"
     There was a resounding clatter as Usagi and Mamoru both fell to 
the ground, and luckily, Mamoru managed to keep all the packages in place 
as he hit the ground.  Usagi was on her feet and apologizing at a mile 
a minute in less than a second, not seeing Mamoru, as he was mostly 
buried beneath the miscellaneous bags, boxes and such.     "Ugh, Oda-" 
     'Don't even think about it pretty boy,' the voice cut in.  
     Mamoru sighed and tried again.
     "Usagi-chan, it was my fault entirely, but could you be so kind as 
to help me up?  I seem to buried in my own purchases here…" Mamoru 
called out from underneath his own personal toy mountain.  Usagi leaned 
forward and examined the talking pile of toys from all angles.
     "Mamoru-san, are you really in there somewhere?" she asked 
curiously after recognizing his distinctively deep voice.  Initially wondering 
on another level why he was being so polite, Usagi dismissed it as 
pressure from all those bags and searched for an available hand or 
appendage to pull him to his feet.  "Never mind that, Mamoru-san.  Wave an arm 
or something, I can't even see you under all that stuff!"
     Mamoru feebly managed to wave a hand slightly, and eventually, 
Usagi pulled him to his feet.  Shrugging the bags around until he could 
see properly again, Mamoru sighed in relief.
     "Ah, thanks Usagi-chan, I thought I'd suffocate under there!" he 
said cheerfully.   
     Usagi stared at him, while Mamoru continued to smile innocently 
back.  She raised an eyebrow as he straightened up and shifted around the 
bags he carried.      
     "What's all that stuff for anyway Mamoru?" she asked, her 
curiosity of his purchases overriding that of his strange behavior as she tried 
to peek into the bags.
     "Ah, nothing much, just some things I'll be needing soon!" Mamoru 
said nervously, moving the bags away from her slightly.  "What are you 
doing here Usagi-chan?" he asked, trying to move the subject of 
conversation away from the purchases.
     "Me?" she repeated, then brightened, "I'm making another birthday 
list!  I was checking out all the new manga and these kawaii little 
pink and blue stuffed bunnies at the toy store and…You probably don't 
really want to hear this, do you?" she asked, remembering who she was 
talking too.  Mamoru blinked.
     "Oh, no, Usagi-chan!  I'd love to hear this, if we could just sit 
down?" he tried to point at a nearby bench, but gave up.  Luckily, 
Usagi understood and giggled slightly. 
     "Hai, Mamoru-san, no problem at all!"  The good mood from her 
window shopping was only elevated by Mamoru's unusual but very welcome 
behavior towards her.  Who was she to look a gift horse in the mouth?  
     She continued to talk about all the nice things she had seen so 
far while Mamoru listened carefully, grinning when she mentioned 
something he had in one of the many bags and making a growing list of other 
things to get her at some point.
     "Oh, it's just so difficult to decide," Usagi fretted, causing 
Mamoru to lose coherence as she pouted adorably (clueless to his 
fascinated gaze).  She tilted her head to the side, apparently deep in thought.  
"I'm not sure what to ask my parents for my birthday.  I saw so many 
kawaii things that I'd like to get today!"  
     And suddenly she frowned a bit sadly, and blushed a little.  
"Since Motoki-niisan probably won't be able to get a hold of Tuxedo Kamen 
for my birthday," she made a face, "I'll just have to make the best of 
things!"  She let out a deep sigh, while Mamoru strove to keep a straight face.
     'Don't worry, I'll be there to help make it even better!' thought 
Mamoru with a smile.  And then the little voice inside Mamoru's head 
began singing, 'We're going to the chapel and we're go---nna get 
marr---ied, going to the chapel, and we're---'
     'SHUT UP!' Mamoru said, trying to concentrate on what Usagi was saying.  
     'No harm in being optimistic,' the voice said.  
     "Of course, if Rei-chan was here she'd probably say I was being 
greedy, but I'm not!  This is just a very hard decision to make!  Only 
once a year, after all!  Don't you agree, Mamoru-san?"  Usagi asked 
brightly, oblivious to Mamoru's internal struggle.  
     "Hm?  Oh, hai, Usagi-chan, you're right," Mamoru hastily said, 
hoping not to appear the confused man that he was.  "A birthday is very 
special."   
     Usagi turned to look directly at the man with the dark-blue eyes 
that were focused intently on her.  She stared at him.  "Why are you 
being so nice today, Mamoru-san?" Usagi asked, somewhat suspiciously.     
     "Stranger things do happen," he said laconically, avoiding the question. 
     She fiddled with a few strands of her golden hair, and said 
lightly, "Back to Odango Atama and Mamoru-baka tomorrow then, ne?"
     Mamoru frowned.  That wasn't what he had in mind at all.  "What 
makes you say that?" 
     Usagi shrugged, smiling a little.  "Just a hunch I have.  But 
Mamoru-san, if you act like this on my birthday, that will be a nice enough 
present from you."  And with that, she waved goodbye and bounced off, 
her golden hair waving energetically. 
     "Now she tells me," Mamoru muttered, but his eyes were dreamy as 
they followed the bouncing odangos.  
     'See?  What did I tell you?' the little voice interrupted his reverie. 
     Mamoru groaned.  Before he could say anything, the voice bulldozed 
ahead.  'You've still got to give Usagi what she wants, and you're not 
*quite* the perfect Tuxedo Kamen yet.  Let's get going, Chiba...we've 
got some work to do.' 

***

Although MK steals everyone's energy, she still hasn't managed to steal 
Sailor Moon.  
And I'm poor because I just bought the R movie, so don't sue me either!  
E-mail us!  We love e-mail!  *sniff*  We will die without e-mail, and 
then what will happen to this story???  ^_^

  Moon Klutz & W. Bymeeh
lunap@lunap.com and Jhyunl@aol.com

www.lunap.com  Future World Ruler : Vote MK!  10 Ban Land: 
http://layouts.homestead.com/10banindex.html Proud sponser of the 
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Owner of all Dreams of the next...five seconds.

Luvs ya!
~MK
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