"Words Will Fall" Rated: G ('course'!) A Sailormoon fan fiction by: natia_99 Disclaimer: Surprise, surprise, I do NOT own Sailormoon! Please do not sue me, alas I am a poor student with few $'s and I mean no harm! AN: I put all kinds of goodies in this fic! First, the lyrics to the 'Jars of Clay' song: "Blind". It's a Christian song....sigh...if that offends anybody, well, too bad! The song is about believing in God, but I thought it also fit well with Darien's whole reclusive, pained, kind of faithless and lonely personality! (Hope using the song in a different context isn't TOO sacrilegious?) Anyways, the love Darien has for Serena kind of reminds me of the love a person has for God...I mean he is empty and faithless and gives everything of himself to her and she fills him with love and goodness.....y'know? All right, I'll shut up now with my philosophical spiel! You've probably all scrolled down to the story now...you haven't? Arigato! I also used a poem I wrote in here too! ;) It's called "Moment of Agony (I saw you)", just a shorty I wrote for one particular part! Phew, that's the longest AN I ever wrote! *sweatdrop* Gomen! Thanks to: Jars of Clay for writing such a great song! Alicia Blade and Lady Starra for hosting such a great site (and writing such AMAZING fics!) annnnd, ofcourse my online buddy Grace for just being so darned cool! Love ya! Alright, now you may scroll down. ;) Enjoy and be a dear....e-mail moi? "words will fall" Darien Chiba raised himself early. Forced himself to wash his face and get dressed and go out jogging. I don't want to face another day.... He straightened himself at this thought as he ran through the park. Don't be so weak! He reprimanded himself. So what if you're alone? You're strong. You're smart. You'll be fine. You don't need anyone... His features took on a strange bitterness. You don't need anyone to survive....just to live. He hadn't been able to shake this depression lately. This all encompassing emptiness. The mystery of being Tuxedo Mask simply added fuel to fire. He still didn't know who he was and now he had not one but TWO identities he knew next to nothing about. I don't fit in anywhere. I don't know how to be a person or a hero. I hate this life. I don't believe in anything anymore. Not heroes, not dream Princesses....nothing... Cynical It's just your way You play the doubting Thomas Feel the scars and wipe the stains His heart was filled with despair. For most of all, the one thing he didn't want to admit, was that he was lonely. Terribly, terribly lonely. But he was more afraid of not being lonely, for if he let someone near him and then lost them, the loneliness would be even more unbearable. That was hard to imagine, but Darien had a pretty thorough imagination. So he lashed out. Pushed everyone away. So you fight, And retreat And talk yourself out of believing In any peace that you can't see Especially the one person who made him feel the most... CRASH! He slammed into someone and they both fell over backwards. "Gomen nasai!" came a very familiar voice. Serena Tsukino stood up and dusted herself off before looking up. She hadn't noticed one of her odangos had fallen out and her hair was trailing onto the ground. "Darien!" she exclaimed in surprise and then her eyes narrowed. "Meatball head! Why don't you watch where you're going? Can't you keep your klutz attacks to yourself?" "Ohhh! Of all the-you know Baka, it takes TWO people to have a collision!" "But it only takes ONE Meatball head to have a klutz attack!" he laughed mercilessly in her face. This girl simultaneously brought out the best and worst in him-though she would probably never know that. She was the only person that made him laugh..... "Where are you off to in such a hurry today Meatball head?" She was dressed so nicely, in a pretty skirt and blouse with a matching jacket. "For your information Baka, I am going to my first day of my first job!" He smirked, "Then you might wanna consider fixing your hair!" he laughed as he jogged away. "What do you--?" she felt her lost odango and glared after him. "Ohhh, this is all your fault Darien!" And she hurried off in the other direction trying to fix her hair as she ran. İİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİ Darien sat in a booth in the arcade, amidst a sea of books. He stared down, unseeing, at the one in front of him, drinking absently at his soda, his thoughts elsewhere. Wretched summer vacation. I'd rather be in school. It was true. Free time was something he didn't know what to do with. Without friends or family it felt more like punishment.... He shook his head. Even with work and some summer college classes he'd managed to get into (he was still in High School-AN: I like the Manga better! Gomen!) he still ended up with free time! Fine, he thought bitterly, I'll just READ myself to death! Andrew brought him over a soda and chips. "You know, you really ought to get a real hobby!" he teased his longtime friend. Darien smiled wryly at him, "Whatever. I hate summer vacation." Andrew just shook his head, "You need to get out more man...." Enter Serena. Fresh from her first official workday. She was bursting with unchecked excitement as she and the girls sat down at a table nearby. "Well, how was it?" asked Ami as Andrew brought them sodas. "Welllllll, there was a LOT to learn but it was mostly pretty easy! Everything in the store is so pretty! I seemed to do alright, I didn't klutz out once!" she admonished proudly, beaming. The girls nodded their amused approval. "I can't believe you're working in a lingerie store!" mocked Rei. Darien spat a full mouthful of soda out at this statement-mercifully no one noticed. (AN: I know, I know, explanations are in order! You see, my first real job was at a lingerie store-called La Senza-I just sort of ended up getting a job there by chance, I didn't know squat about underwear! Anyways, just about everything I include in reference to the job actually happened to me! ;) "Well, I just sort of fell into it. I put my resume out everywhere and they were the first and only place to call me back! Crazy huh? It's not too bad though! Plus, I get a discount on all my underwear and pajamas now!" "I can't wait till Christmas! We'll all get wicked cool presents for sure!" proclaimed Mina cheerfully (AN: I know she shouldn't technically be here yet, but I like Mina and I wanted her in and it's my fic so *tongue sticking out here*!) "So, did anything interesting happen on your first shift?" Queried Lita. "Actually, this one guy came in to buy something for his girlfriend and you won't believe what he said to me!" The girls all leaned in closer to hear....so did Darien.... "Well, he was looking for something pretty, and silky and kind of-" she blushed , "-sexy." she practically whispered. The girls all nodded for her to continue. The tension in Darien's neck from straining to hear was becoming painful. "So as we're heading for the register he says all jokingly 'hey, wanna model it for me?'-can you imagine?!" (AN: How many times did lame guys use THAT joke when I worked there? Liiiike...AS IF!) "What?!" choked the girls together. "WHAT?!" choked Darien a second afterwards, jumping up and facing them. They all turned to stare at him at once. Serena especially. She hadn't realized he was listening to their conversation....and why did he suddenly care what some jerk at work said to her? Why...he looked mad enough to kill! He realized his error in a moment of true horror. Oops! Darien you Baka! What have you gotten yourself into?! "Were you listening in Darien?" Asked Mina with a knowing smile, the other girls' smiles were similar. Only Serena stared at him with utter shock keeping her serious expression in place. "Uh...I....er...that is....well....." he stuttered out pitifully. Even Ami choked back a giggle. Serena raised an eyebrow at him. What is wrong with him? He looked at them all desperately and racked his brain for some way to right this. To set things back they way use to be....the words came out before he realized....all he remembered thinking was....Quick, turn this into some way to tease her.... "Well, it's just.....who would want to see you model anything Meatball head?!" The words just hung in the air as five pairs of eyes widened. Darien froze. He couldn't believe he'd said that. He clapped a hand over his mouth in shock. Baka Baka Baka! His mind screamed. Serena's eyes filled with tears. Blind.... Words you call.... Blind.... Words, will, fall.... It was one of those horrible moments in life from which recovery is impossible. Never, never had Darien regretted anything so much in his life. Serena fled the arcade, choking back a sob. The girls just gaped at him, even Rei was too shocked to speak. Darien turned on his heel and ran out after her without another word. He tried to see where she'd gone but she was too fast. He stopped and shut his eyes. I can't believe I said that! What's wrong with me? Where could she be? How am I gonna find her? And suddenly he knew, with blinding clarity that she was in the park..... That tug at his heart....like Sailormoon....but it was Serena...no doubt about it... He broke into a run for the park. Once there however, the tug faded away.....he couldn't find her anywhere.....he combed every inch of the place and never caught so much as a glimpse of her. His thoughts ate at him in bitter echoes. How could I? How could I? How could I? How could I hurt her when that's not how I really feel about her at all? He stopped dead in his tracks at that thought. How DO I feel about Serena? I haven't....I couldn't have....have I....fallen for her? No no no....that can't be it.....I won't let myself.....I don't want to love anyone....I don't know how to even begin....it can't be love....I don't believe in love...I don't believe in love....I don't.... .....You're logical you can't find Any reason to believe in love, you are blind..... His thoughts were cut short as he realized he stood in front of the playground. The sounds of children's laughter filtered in.....he watched small children run and play, their parents pushing them on swings.....helping them climb.....carrying them and holding them close.... Serena had spotted him some moments before and started to stalk over and give him a real piece of her mind but she'd stopped short behind him when she spotted his face......as he watched the playground.... ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ moment of sustained agony white and blinding cuts deep makes me ache for you ethereal and strange like a memory...not my own feel my heart twist with longing to offer you relief to lift the pain see my breath in this place of your solitude feel my soul reach for you whatever it was I am sorry whatever you've done I forgive you let me close God, let me close to you I promise......it's you I will set free..... ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Serena shivered watching him. But approaching her to the left of him was the guy who had made the inappropriate joke at the store, walking with another man. He spotted her before she could react and broke into a wry grin. "Well, well, well. If it isn't the lingerie model from this afternoon! My offer still stands....whadaya say?" Darien turned rapidly, his eyes shot from Serena to the man with deadly recognition. She only saw a flash of black and green before she realized Darien had tackled the wretched man and was in the process of knocking the daylights out of him. "What the--! Hey!" The man managed before his voice was muffled altogether. Serena ran to him, "Darien! Darien! Stop! He's not worth it! Stop!" She managed to pull the tall young man off him before he did him any real damage. Darien panted heavily and his eyes had gone a deadly black colour. He stared so intensely at the two men that they said nothing, and fled in the direction from which they came. (AN: Alright, NOTHING like that ever happened to me, I totally made that up!) Serena turned her gaze on him, "I can't believe you did that!" She gasped out. He tried to collect himself but was rather unsuccessful. Serena looked into his eyes and found the truth once again...as she had at the arcade for that brief moment before he'd ruined everything. Why does he care what that jerk said to me? That can't be right....how could he care about anything to do with me when he hates me? "I can't believe you did that...." she repeated, "...after what you said earlier." Fresh tears stung at her eyes as she remembered. That was low, even for him. He swung around to face her abruptly, "Serena," he said hoarsely, his eyes wide and sorrowful, "I am so sorry I said that. I don't know what possessed me to-" A lie, fear had possessed him to! "-I didn't mean it at all. It just sort of, came out and I feel terribly over it. I didn't mean it! Please forgive me?" He said it all so fast and so sincerely that her breath caught. For once his mask was off, for once his eyes revealed the truth. And the truth startled her. "I forgive you." She breathed softly. "Arigato." he returned in barely a whisper, "I don't deserve it." "Your welcome." she said looking with sudden intensity into his vulnerable eyes, "But please tell me....why did you care what he said to me?" He pulled back quite suddenly and she stumbled backwards. The star locket fell from her pocket and clattered to the ground between them. They both stared wide eyed at it. "Hey! How did you get that? I didn't give it to you!" he blurted and then once again clamped his hand over his mouth. Serena's eyes shot up to meet his as they both realized.... She's..... He's...... This made things a lot more complicated. And yet...somehow it made sense. They stood frozen for a long moment before Serena bent to gently retrieve it. She stepped slowly towards him, "You're...." she couldn't finish, she already felt breathless. He turned his back on her, overwhelmed. But she was at his side so swiftly, warm and inviting him. "Darien.....please....open up to me?" She felt him stiffen, "Serena I.....I can't..." She pulled him away and led him to a secluded over hang overlooking the lake, under a huge cherry tree. She sat him down. He sat with his fists clenched. She looked at his stone set face. If she hadn't caught such moments of pain and truth on his face as she had today, she would never have guessed there was such a soul beneath that facade. She began to talk. Softly, earnestly. Telling him everything she knew about the Scouts, their mission, the crystals, and her own struggle to be a hero. Then she waited patiently for him to offer what he knew. But he sat silently, not daring to meet her eyes. She turned to face him and grabbed both his hands. "Darien, please? Please confide in me! Please? I know I'm not smart and I'm klutzy and a crybaby....but there's one thing I am good at...." His eyes slowly met hers, "What?" he said softly. "Caring." she replied, "I'm good at caring. You can't trip and klutz out, you don't have to be smart.....it's easy for me. I promise I will offer it endlessly if you'll just talk to me!" He gave her soulful look and finally did just that. He pulled her closer to him and confided everything. His parents death. His amnesia. The strange pull he felt when she was in danger. What little he knew about being Tuxedo Mask. The dreams about the Princess calling to him. The sun was setting over the lake as he finished. The play of colours on her face and hair made him stop. "....you look like the Princess in my dreams...." he breathed. "Wh-at? Me? A Princess? Yeah right!" "But this connection I feel to you....as Sailormoon and Serena...." If she's the Princess too, that just ties it all together for me.. "What do you think it means?" she asked timidly. "What?" "The connection between us? How we always run into one another...and...." "And?" he queried. "...and the strong feelings you....stir in me..." His breath caught in his throat, he tilted her chin to bring her nervous face up to his, "I feel just the same......that's why I pushed you away....I was afraid..." "I know. I understand why you did." she soothed, squeezing his shoulder without thinking. "Thank you." he said smiling suddenly. "For what?" "For listening. For caring. For forgiving me." She smiled, "You should do that more often." she said waving a finger at his mouth and accidentally pressing it gently in. And then she caught something in his eyes.....couldn't be... He pulled a rose from behind his back and showed it to her....tickling her nose gently with it before tucking it in her hair. "Serena.....Sailormoon....." he said softly, leaning in, he was close to her ear when he finished, "...Princess...." Her thoughts were spinning strangely. This can't be happening. This must be a dream. "When I wake up. Remind me to cherish this moment forever." she murmured softly and he felt himself falling harder. He leaned in and kissed her softly, gently and pulled away. "If I give you my heart....will you always care for me?" he said so quietly she could barely hear. "No." she said softly and his eyes widened. She smiled sweetly as she leaned towards him, "I'll fall helplessly in love with you forever...." And the last expression on his face was a warm smile before she kissed him, gently at first and then more thoroughly until she made him forget everything but the sensation of it. The End AN: Awwwww....I love a sappy ending don't you? If you can free yourself from the extra thick sap I laid on in this one, please use your free arm to E- MAIL MOI! Arigato!